[ rantings of a hobbit ]

na-realize ko lang...

2007-12-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

i feel sad when my mind is idle, when i am alone or when i try to 'think'. i think i should be with people, with friends or just outside. that way, 'thinking' wouldn't become a priority.

i don't like to think. because when i do, i worry. then i'm sad.

shit! yun na nga siguro...

was able to watch an episode of one tree hill kanina then i remembered:

"people always leave"

mej marami na nga sila. kailan kaya yung "...and sometimes they come back" part?

i don't want to wait 'cos it may not come. asa pa.

ayan...nakaka-sad na naman. bye.

uy, bye ah. :(

a merry christmas?

2007-12-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

waited for 24 hours before i could make this post just to avoid defying the yuletide spirit. in all honesty, aside from the fact that this day is special and holy (ok, i'm trying to wash my hands here), this season wasn't as merry as i wanted it to be.

i feel sad, because i think i wanted it to be that way. i am sad and i will be sad, but i'll try to move on one day (shet it rhymed!). it's really not about you, it's me. seriously.

it will never be the same again. it's better this way. (kahit naka-cross ang fingers ko, stupid noh?)

------------------------------------------

bits of me during the break...

> had our annual cas xmas party. tequila + me = sabog = wasak = hangover. a picture and a video will not only paint a thousand words but will even bring titanic back. the first and last you'll see me that way, hopefully.

> barkada dinner turned roadtrip to tagaytay. kudos to bry, i must say...i'm impressed. something i was supposed to miss but i think i was able to manage. detachment is the answer, or at least trying to loosen some knots. bitterness ito! hehehe!

> last minute shoppings. f*ck the jlo's and all their ways. nuff said.

see you next season...

nakakainis

2007-12-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

naiinis ako. kanina pa ako type-erase ng type-erase. pero yun na lang siguro ang sasabihin ko. naiinis ako. nakakainis ka. nakakainis kayo!

i never wanted this. and i DO NOT deserve this. or if i do, bakit ako? dapat ikaw na lang.

i want a new slate. i want to start again. walang ganito. nakakainis talaga.

pero kahit naiinis ako, hindi ko talaga kaya. pero kakayanin ko. t*ng'na ka kasi.

"anger doesn't always mean hatred. but coping up."

one year. two months. twenty one days.

2007-11-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

and still counting.

it seems such a short time for a lot of things to happen.

birth. death. quarrels. reunions. absences. drawings. above all, drifting apart. slowly...

paano na ang forever? akala ko ba always?

things will never be the same as before. when a single point in a rally was the best feeling. or when a stick of jelly tongue was our last meal. we're way way past all these.

sad thing is, we've become, or at least 'becoming', to be way past each other. some have become strangers and some mere acquaintances.

i missed. i hoped. i was disappointed, frustrated. and am on the verge of anger.

and i have given up. i'm not making the move now. pfft.

current lss: awit ng barkada - itchyworms

crisis et al

2007-11-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

i've come to realize that my life is in crisis. somewhat in a love-life-career-type of crisis.

i've already crossed the 'teen' life. and i'm pretty sure i'm moving farther from that line. pfft. yet, i'm still young. i consider myself one though.

i have been telling people i'm "commitment-phobic". now i'm really starting to think i am. i don't feel the urgency. i don't feel the need. i just have fun being me and being with you. that's all. i'm not even asking for one. i have lots of time. i do...do i?

i want and i don't want to leave. this is my home. this is where my life is. change is something that i don't let in my door. not easily that is. i'm ok with this. so no need to make things more complicated and scary. but hope is, i think, clearer on that side of the coin. who wouldn't want one. heck, i'm not stupid to just let it pass. sayang. maybe it's time to leave. many people would die for it. curious as a cat, i'd like to know why they would.

to you, let me know who you are. just please...the right time.

to somewhere there, i think this is the time. i think hence i'm not sure.

who would have thought.

2007-08-16T00:04:00.000+08:00

i wanted to have a year of hiatus. but heck! i have the time now and you know how scarce computer time is here in our house.

who would have thought i'd be back? it's been a year since my last draft entry and i never thought i'd be continuing this piece of crap. i came across someone's blog. someone popular yet very human. haha feeling close! i'm a complete groupie. joke!

hope i'll be able to write about my life again. of course, not yours.

on life, love, work, stress, friends and a pinch of luxury. i'll t-r-y to update you once in a while.

feeling a bit blissful about having to write again.

it's me! the hobbit reborn. ü

down memory lane

2006-08-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

sounds cheesy but words couldn't explain the lightness and happiness that i felt today. it was more than the laughters and the funny antics. it was the togetherness..one thing i really really missed. all of us obviously changed, in all aspects that you can think of. but no matter how complex our lives have been, how busy all of us seem to be, the friendship we have is truly undeniable. i wouldn't trade every minute i spent with you today for anything else (errr, maybe for a million bucks. joke!)

thanks for completing my day :) and yea, i missed all of you.

enp. barkada. berks. kada. or whatever name you call it...

you never fail to rock my world.

*sigh*

panis

2006-08-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

yep, my blog's panis na. haven't been updating my life here. work's kinda eating the hours of my life. well it's rewarding since i get my payslip every 2 weeks (ata) and i have weekends to stay at home and bum around. but 2 days seem so short. argh! i miss just being at home and doing nothing. petics petics, pa-banjing banjing. haaaay! that WAS the life. i tend to be more serious now. hehehe as if. i'm kinda getting the hang of my job. but sometimes, i still feel that it sucks the energy of me. i silently complain about how it is, but of course i can't. maybe i just don't want to be given much responsibility and tons of workload to do. haaaay! it's really hard to earn money. pfft. i've been lucky to get hold of the pc today. since you know who has been guarding this thing forever. and i was able to dload some of my beloved series -- the hills and kyle xy. finished first season of the hills. wala lang! that's my only life. i do spend some time with friends sometimes, too -- trey, rr, gracy and some. but i do miss my other friends. ehem ehem! calling my "friends" out there. yoohoo! dinner naman jan! hehehe!

i'm looking forward to the twins' baptism. hopefully i get to see my old peeps. woohoo! i'll see ENP. at least i remembered the name. haha! we'll have a celebration in the office next week, too. was sick for the past days. fuck. i hate getting sick since i won't be able to go to work. meaning, minus in my pay plus tons of pendings/backlogs. faks! and oh, i really hope sir totoy gets to move on with his life. hahaha joke! i really can't look or even stay near him when he's around. me and my petty stupidity. i hope the time comes when i can say, "hay nako sir, move on na. antagal na nun!" hahahaha! wwwiiisshh kooo llaaaannnngg!

wants. i want a digicam and an ipod. well i want a laptop too but that's too ambitioius. i want them now! argh!!! maybe i'll get the digicam first. i can't even use plastic since it's loaded with utang. hehehe!

anyway, that's it. have to bum now. so bye.

friends, LET'S GO OUT!!! dinner dinner jan! hang out hang out! :P

the worker

2006-06-17T17:34:00.000+08:00

i've been employed for four days already! woohoo quite an achievement for me. sadly, it's not as fun as i imagined it to be. the environment's fine--airconditioned office, me donning the long sleeves and tie (yihee corporate world dream!) and working in one of the coolest buildings in makati--but it's really T-I-R-I-N-G! i was looking forward to what jem said, "dun ka na lang, sina beeanne pacoffee-coffee lang, ot-ot tapos daldalan". haaaay too good to be true! maybe i'm still adjusting. and i'm still trying to let go of my bum moments. ooh i miss the bed and the tv so much, and even my fone!!! anyway, forever OT ako since i started. but mind you, i don't get paid for it. we've ot pay but i just filed recently since i'm kinda scared of my AM. i've been hearing stuff about her...the not so good stuff. scawee scawee! hehehe! mike's been a good teacher though i'm sure he's kinda holding his temper since i tend to ask the same questions again and again...and again! i still have to rewrite my notes. shet! i have to absorb the daily routine especially with the cheques. damn those cheques! why do people have to order so much when they could just use their ATMs. hehehehe! on the other hand, if they don't order, then i won't have any work. ergo, no pay! boo! hehehe! it's like being in school with a crash course, imagine only 1 to less than 2 weeks of teaching then they'll turnover the work to us, alone! to think that i have to answer the questions of the tellers in different branches. aba malay ko ba! basta mag-order lang kayo?!!? hahahaha! plus, JnJ just called the other day inviting me for an interview. tae kayo! why now?!? :(

anyway, at least i can say that i'm already employed. still a probi but hopefully will soon become a regular. that is if i'd be able to surpass ma'am c and the work and the stress and the pressure. oh well, this is the real world.

btw, we had a despedida party yester-night for those who'd be moving to another dept. thus, the people whom we got our positions. hehehe! sadly, they seem to be the fun people and now they're leaving. awww! fud was uber great in dampa. we should eat there more often. maybe if we get our salaries. hehehe! blowout na'to!!! basta madaya pa rin! matatanda sa team ko tapos puro bata yung kabila! puro pa baguhan so it would be more prone to errors and would, i think, be understandable unlike my case. AKO LANG BAGO SA TEAM!!! :,(

that's it for now. :p

~Mark, the chequebook order processor (ambantot noh?! hahaha! at kamusta naman ang name ko na ginawa na nila akong K instead of C! i should've said my name was Macky! argh!)

will be missing you

2006-06-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

i have been with you for quite a long time. we've been through so much and i know that you have touched the very part of me. no goodbyes, only "see you soon". no longer will my back feel your soft touch and the comfort you bring to me EVERYDAY. haaaaayyy...

i'll miss you, bed!!!

haha ok fine, cut the crap. i'll forever miss my que-sera-sera-whatever-will-be attitude here at home. i'll miss the late night sleeps and the late wake ups.

'cos i'm no longer THE BUM!!! woohoo!

just sharing the news :)

inx's: chowl, we may not be in the same roof (aka building) but we are in the same home :) labshoo! we'll meet in the fort next year. that is if the news is true. hehehe! and oh, i'm ALWAYS here for you. ok?! ok?!

ok, so i'm still a bum

2006-05-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

who cares?

on the more important note...

today i realized so many things. truly the song holds, sometimes love really just ain't enough. some relationships, though their so-called love is strong, do end. still, we're hoping for the best. with that, i don't only mean getting back together but also being able to move on and finding the rightful souls that fit theirs. meeting halfway, compromise, understand, or however you want to call it. it does count. it really does. reality check here, it's not all love. haaay, hearing these things make me want to be single for the rest of my life. goooooo.....single! hehehe! jus kidding! love will never be unless you get hurt, unless you feel one. and it is in getting hurt that you see the true color of love or whatever that is. oh and another thing, don't expect too much. cos usually, what you want is not really what you'll get. if it's not meant to be then it's not. period. no erase. no liquid paper. but hey, you can wait for a miracle. fine, you can wait for a change. changes are good. or better yet, see the brighter side in all changes.

you can't turn things back the way they used to be. sadly, i haven't learned to let go of some things, of some memories. dang, i miss the used-to-be's. fyi, this isn't about you-know-who. but about things in general. things that really matter. there's no other way but moving forward, moving on. the road divulges for all of us, and we can't force people to take the road we'll take. but be thankful that there are those who do. so, thank you! you know who you are!

tabula rasa. everyday's a clean slate. it's ok to feel happy cos you saw how fine the weather is today, or angry that you're brother didn't let you use the computer again, or excited that in the next coming days you'll be able to see your friends again, worried that you won't get into any job, sad that you feel you're alone, lazy that you think you'll be suffering from bed sore. at any rate, this is how life goes. and waking up to another tomorrow is like cleaning your slate again. parang nung grade school, after one math problem, hahatakin mo pataas yung magic slate para ma-erase yung mga nakasulat. yet underneath the slate are the markings you've done.

people will disappoint you, get you frustrated. just deal with it. cos sometimes you might even end up realizing that you're the disappointment. (thanks to psawyer, that was enlightening). and as the popular european professor once said, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? i see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated! life's like that, life's a bitch.

who am i to say, i'm just a hopeless romantic...tonight. and tomorrow, i'll be the jologs jokester that everyone knew. but for now, let me be. i am the author of my book.

(weird entry? some people will get this i know but to those who don't, then just read it as it is. i'm sure you'll be able to get something.)

~hopelessly hoping

pasbrek (ambarok na fastbreak)

2006-05-13T18:18:00.000+08:00

yesss...fumi-feeling basketball!

anyway, just wanted to post some short notes.

rr's back! wee! had a new pair of kinda big slippers plus never ending bonding moments again. wehehe! now i've a bum partner in d kada.

bombshells! oooohhh! it just keeps on pouring. or should i say exploding?! promise! ibang level!!! hahaha! if only i could spill. but i won't and i can't. hahaha! trust on the line here! :p

mic's tied the knot already. such an unforgettable experience. no more details i'm tamad already. but i wish them well, especially the babies now that the doctor advised her to rest 24/7. take care sis! labshoo!

byebye burg party! twas a night to remember! the pictures will tell it all. u can just visit my multiply site soon. have to steal pix from my friends. yihee! i therefore conclude that i need a digicam...soon! hire me now please!

i'm still a bum! same old story. i hope my next post would be..."i'm employed!" and so for now, i'll just keep on wishing! :p

hmmm that's kinda my life now. bum and bored.
and oh, walang THE ONE. hahaha! have to stress on that part.

bhoot~

torn between two...

2006-05-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

no, not lovers.

i'm torn between two careers. the career i THINK i want and the career that is more practical (hence, call center and the like). we're facing a rough road right now and the only immediate solution would be money. but how?! of course, me getting a job to be able to finance some of our expenses. i'm getting frustrated looking for jobs. actually, i can wait for more months to find a good job. but with our situation right now, i can't. no one's forcing me but i'm forcing myself.

please help. argh! would i attend to my last resort already? do i still have time to think? haaaay...

bummed~

the one. the two. the tree.

2006-04-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

the one.

argh! how were you able to steal my heart and just return it back that easily?! yuck...so cheesy! anyway, i really thought you were "the one". the one(n): 1)bogs (as in bog-bog..bog-bog); 2)chuva (because love is...chuva); 3)si destiny. haha ok fine enuf with the crap. no hard feelings for me. as if it meant more than job-talk. and so, life goes on for me. and will still be waiting for the right "the one". :p

the two.

two sablay interviews today. first was starcom/leo burnett. fine! i'm not suited for your position but i'm willing to learn dammit! hahaha! the panel interview scared the crap out of me. seriously. i was used to preliminary interviews and the tell-me-something-about-urself type of questions. and mind you, IT'S THE LOW PAY! and not because i'm incapable for your position! haha! may bitter factor?!? two. interview in oakwood. yes dear, i applied in oakwood. but i was after the big pay aka service charge that i heard about. still before my 2nd interview (with the asst front desk officer), i was struck by the thought that i didn't want myself working in their front desk. i mean, where's the "corporate world" dream there? but sayang the pay. oh well!

the tree.

i'm itching for one tree hill! downloading episode 21 and then off to the 2-part season finale. yipee! dis one's gonna be exciting. i just hope my ever-so-loved brother wouldn't pause uTorrent. bhoooot!

so there. one to tree. still have to prepare for tomorrow's celebration. not that excited though. cos i wasn't prepared. i thought i had the coat here all along. argh! but still best wishes to you! and i have to apply for more jobs next week. haaaay! you just gotta hate life sometimes.

boo~

lss

2006-04-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

(sige na pagbigyan niyo na lang ako just this once...) :p

**To Love Again**

Radio's fine
It helps me forget for awhile
I look back and recall
Those days I had with you
Sometimes I need a friend
Just to make it through
Another day without you ...

You gave me all the reasons to live
Then you had to go
And I just got to let you know
Its hard to love again
Just to make it through
Another day spent without you ...

Chorus:
And I don't want to go on pretending
That its going to be a happy ending
If I should love again
ONCE I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE AGAIN
And, no, it will never be the same
Without you baby
This pain inside me is driving me crazy
'CAUSE IT'S HARD TO LOVE AGAIN...

Friends are great
They cheer me up for sometime
When the day is done
My mind is back again with you
Oh God, I need a friend
Just to make it through
Another day spent without you ...

still a bum

2006-04-23T14:17:00.000+08:00

it's been almost a month since i graduated. i'm not in a hurry to work but i'm kinda pressured. i don't have money anymore and i can't afford to ask money from my folks unlike someone i know. argh! anyway, we've been jobhunting like forever. ok fine we still prioritize our dinners but still...WE WANT TO WORK! i want to earn na!

wishlist:
1. digicam (o diba ambabaw ko!)
2. ipod
3. laptop
4. shopping galore (clothes, shoes, etc)
5. car loan (if ever i work in a bank)
6. financing some of our expenses
7. savings!
etc etc etc.

btw, my bora pix are already uploaded in my multiply account :) plus other pictures i suppose.

speaking of pictures, we had two nights of DS dinners. thanks to anna (happy burday!) and edel (congrats!). dinners are really a silver lining in my dark cloud. a night filled with stories, laughter n bonding moments. fun fun fun! especially seeing them again. shux, i miss burg! chowl, greg n i went there last thursday. wala ng laman, well of course some of the appliances were still there. plus MY sofa! stress on the ownership. haha! we'll be having a bye-bye-burg party slash inuman next next week. hopefully april's back here so we can comfort her din. :)

anyway, i'll post again soon.

bye~

p.s. i've been feeling something d past days. haaay! haaaaaaay talaga! =s

beach to bum

2006-04-13T11:27:00.000+08:00

i'm fresh from the beach!!! yey! fresh from the white sands and clear waters of boracay (minus the green lumot...haha!) my first experience was F-U-N! sun, sea, sand and everything on the side.

100 things about my bora trip:
1. negros navigation! (well, you kinda suck...boo!)
2. our NN group! (me, anne, greg, robby, maki, dayday)
3. cabin 319 w/ NO aircon
4. the CR with disgusting scenery
5. the delays in docking
6. the P90 boat to boracay island (which was around P20++ months back)
7. andok's dokito frito! yum!
8. boracay hideaway I-B
9. white sand!
10. almost clear waters...
11. except the green lumot!
12. scorching sun...
13. and my "tan" (tan ka jan!)
14. d*mall, d*palengke, etc
15. POWER NAPS!
16. card games (power pusoy, pusoy dos, unggoy2, bullshit, hula, in between)
17. waking around 11pm to fix...
18. for CLUB PARAW!
19. ang walang kamatayang dugs-dugs!
20. YOURS ang pagka-pagod ng mga hita at legs ko!
21. dance til the early morning...literally!
22. ang dance step ni denchio
23. ang pa-picture ng BB's (kath, irz, zy, bei, etc)
24. ang mga lasing, nalasing, nilalasing
25. ang mga kumiss sa sand (booooot!)
26. ang paulit-ulit na songs
27. si dj paraw-paraw-paraw-paraw-paraw
28. coco mangas!
29. illusion shaker and red alert and green minds
30. ang pag-drop ni ria! RIA 'd DROPPER!
31. ...at ng marami pang tao tsktsk!
32. pier one!
33. slammer! (ready!!! one two three....bambambambambmabam!)
34. bangenge (tho i didn't buy one! yak!)
35. ang ayaw mag-acoustic sa jony's place. olats! hehe!
36. ang boys ni ella
37. ang pagka-challenge ng buhay ni greg
38. ang KAMUKHA ni anne!
39. ang tawa ni ria
40. ang pagka-inlove ni rob
41. ang pagka-miss ni dayday kay jo
42. ang girls ni maki
43. ang prom dance ni irz
44. ang pagkaladkad kay ...
45. ang pagsuot/bilad/model ni kathy with her 2piece (take note! nde pang-swimming)
46. ang ibang level ni zy! (brad turvey na'to!)
47. the shocking news! (chismis ito!!!)
48. the new found friends! awww...
49. the unseen sunrise!...
50. and sunset
51. jonah's, corrine's, biteclub, toc, ghasthof (tama ba?), jamaican beef
52. the uber-cheap mineral water
53. ang island hopping!
54. crocodile island! (seryoso, may crocodile ba jan?)
55. snorkling!
56. yours ang pagtangay ng alon sakin! me and my reliable life-vest
57. nice view underwater
58. ang pagkahilo ko sa boat
59. ang coco beach aka puka beach aka prika beach! hahahaha!
60. ayaw mag-lalim ng puka beach
61. ang twin popsie ni manong worth P35...ulul!!!
62. ang pagjebs naming lahat!
63. ang pagkasira ng tiyan namin ni chowl
64. longgaburger!
65. and isaw, hotdog, bbq, etc
66. ang mga artista! (richard, brad, sherwin, michelle, angelica(hot!) )
67. plus! alma concepcion on board NN...starstruck! not! haha!
68. our almost last night in bora
69. the 730pm to 9 pm to 11pm to 2am to 3am and FINALLY...9am!
70. yours ang pagka-inis naming lahat!
71. "SUBO MO KAPITAN!" hahahaha! -ESA boys
72. ang coke, granma at redhorse
73. the satisfying delata dinner (thanks to bri and ella!)
74. ang bonding moments with chowl...awww!
75. ang "pag-ISMAYL" sa picture! uber laff3p!!!
76. "push the button! pap-parararap!"
77. ang mga MAGKAKAMUKHA! hahaha!
78. ang masarap na pagKain
79. si ate racquel!
80. haaannggg sssaaammmaaa mooo! sabi mo dinaan sa rebond!
81. sabi mo spongebob squarepants!
82. segue: ang scooby doo LSS!
83. ang 15shots ni ria...and i quote: "mga p*ta nyo!!!" haha lasheng!
84. ang paghahanap sa nawawalang pasalubong
85. the payatas smell!
86. april 11, 9am: finally leaving bora...
87. ang pag-reimburse ng 3k
88. ang kasarapan ng free meals
89. ang pagkapagod at pagtulog naming lahat
90. ang putangnang IPIS!!!
91. ang challenge ng pagpasok sa bag, pagpatay at pagreport!
92. adventure card ng NN...asa pang uulit kami!
93. ang keychain ng NN
94. ...at ang bading na manager! lagot maki!!! hahaha!
95. ang umiinit na aircon! weirdness!
96. ang pagkasabik ng lahat sa pag-uwi
97. ang dancestep ng NN crew! wataw!
98. mga mandurugas na taxi driver sa pier!
99. awww...missing this trip
100. and missing the ppl from my whole trip...the drama!

ika-nga ng esa boys, "PA-PAM!"

it was one hell of an experience! and this won't be the last :)
next year ulit ah! calling out to ENP, DS and more!!! tara-lets! :p

life bits

2006-03-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

in no particular order....:p

:: unwavering pity ::
i feel so sorry for my brother. yes, the infamous brother of mine. i can't help but wonder what kind of life would he want to live in the next years of his stagnant, boring, lifeless existence. computer, eat, sleep late, wake up late plus a ninja turtle (evil me!)... yea, that's all there is. had this talk with Nina days ago about how much he is of a brother and son. turns out, she feels sorry for me and that WE SHOULD REALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. but i think this case's hopeless. kung parents ko nga sumuko na, ako pa. i'm just waiting for a life-changing event that would knock his head off. i just pray it's not something bad. the event, that is. and so, the same life goes. me trying to avoid him everyday and minding my own business as if he doesn't even exist and him being the sick and pathetic person that he is. when will this "feeling sorry" end? and oh, i'm mad. but the kind of anger that you can't see the fire. again, it's useless. segue: he erased an important folder in the pc. talk about being inconsiderate and selfish. f*ck him!

:: bombshells ::
1 bombshell, 2 bombshell, 3 bombshell, 4. 5 bombshell, 6 bombshell, 7 bombshell, MORE! tama na!!!
nuf said.

:: jobless bum ::
i still am. currently attending interviews and hopefully taking up exams in the near future. hahaha! let me have my vacae first. but i think i'd want to work in security bank, contrary to my previous post. hahaha! anything but call center...FOR NOW. of course, if all else fails, there's always people support or convergys or sykes. haay buhay...

:: emo-ness ::
maybe for my next post. on facing the so-called real world, leaving ateneo, leaving burg. missing the company of my friends. and more, lots more. huhuhu...

security my ass and more of jobs

2006-03-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

imagine taking an exam from 9am to 6pm. over-OA! to think that 90% of the time we were just waiting for ate barok to check the papers and tell us the results. haaay! still never imagined i would pass the exam cos of the math test. i'm beginning to think i'm a sucker in math. tsk tsk. how on earth would a retard like me compute 62.5% of 3k++ mentally?!? aber?! aber?! and there was also simple division involving decimals with fractions, achuchuchu. again, compute mentally. hello??!?? nevertheless i passed and i'm having my interview next week. then again, no assurance. oh life.

tried to look at job openings of companies through jobsdb and jobstreet. kinda weird that i feel i don't belong to any. promise. i don't even know where i'm good at. haaay. i really think i should start from lusak before i can apply for my ambitious positions. oh well. life. at least pay me well ok? i'm really not ready for this--jobs, salaries, blahblah. i think i fit best in high school. again, not college but high school. hehe.

this is crap. i'm bored ryt now. waiting for limewire to finish downloading oc. but i'll be watching LB again later. yey! argh! i remembered the dvdbox of laguna beach in quiapo. waaaah! me wanty that one! but it's a waste of money cause i've it na. i just have to persuade anna to GIFT it to me. hahaha. hint hint.

bye.

yes it's me

2006-03-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

hey blog and all snoopers out there!
yup i'm back after my hiatus. after my last quasi-intriguing post, i was almost busy and bombarded (wayop!) with school requirements. was supposed to give details of my hell weeks but i'm kinda bored now. bottomline...

I'M OFFICIALLY GRADUATING!

yeah, that's mostly the highlight aside from the fact i turned 20 (wink!) last monday :) happy burday to me! weird, but i feel like i'm the only one struggling to graduate esp these past weeks. soooper! imagine, all my arteneo friends were 'freedom' already while i was bein a loser in econometrics. haaay! nevertheless, domdom loves me and gave me a C+. plus! our thesis grade was C+ (to think that it was only 21 pages, mind you, that includes the 2pg bibliography and appendix! wahaha!)

so there. that was my life i guess. i'm currently job hunting right now and trying to persuade my mom to allow me to go to bora. woohoo! next level! hahahaha! though it means borrowing around 5k just to survive my stay there. haaayy the price you have to pay. plus total cost-cutting with lodging and transpo. haha! hayaan na basta ma-experience ang bora. haha!

ok til here. maybe i'll add next time. :p

ceasefire

2006-02-03T00:56:00.000+08:00

the white flag's been raised.

i never thought dreams were signs until that day.

kaya pala...

let bygones be bygones. :)

three points

2006-01-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

pressure.

mama and papa's visiting back on the last week of feb, most probably. then they'll go to australia. then they will go back here with tito joen and tita ron. ummm hello?!? benefactor's expecting my graduation. panic mode! then we have jem, my ever loving brother. restlessly calling my sun phone and checking up on me. asking about my life and my grades and econmet, plus WHAT GIFT I WANT FOR GRADUATION. no, that's not all sugar. he's pressuring me to graduate na.

jem: ano bang gusto mong gift? etong laptop ko gusto mo? (pertaining to his MAC Powerbook....oooohhhh! luv it!!!)
me: ano ka ba! ayoko muna isipin yan. nape-pressure na nga ako sa graduation na yan eh! (trying to cover my excitement on how much i'd love to have his laptop and iPod...)
jem: kaya nga. para ma-pressure ka na grumaduate agad!
me: (arrrrggghhhh!!!! PRESSURE!!!!)

stress.

school and all that. i thought it was only econmet. it turns out econmet's not a problem after all. thesis!!! and intl finance! i should've taken another elective. curse you! curse you!!! and lovelife?!? joke!!! not even in the priority list. maybe a teensy-weensy part but not really. haha!

bygones.

*i'm itching to tell but i really can't* don't worry, not that big of a deal. like i've said, bygones. but still, you can't help but think of things...diba?!? let time tell. sigh. haha!

immersed...and the aftermath

2006-01-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

just got back from immersion. after a 3-day mingling with kids and trying to live a life on earth (as what my mom told me, as if naman heaven ang life namin...hehehe!), i'm now back at my real life--cramming and bumming and trying to survive the days of a trying-to-graduate-senior. haaay...

first day was kinda ok. made habol since i had to take my long test during the morning. just in time for the briefing of the volunteers and all. so there. we were distributed to our different houses. i was with alex and buji. we were assigned to gabay buhay. and we thought they were kids. as in 5-6 years old. it turns out they were 8 and above. the minute we entered, they all made mano to us. exaj! i felt i was old. AND I'M NOT. we didn't get to know them that well during that day. we went out kasi to Divisoria to immerse with street families. i'm sorry pero funky talaga yung smell in that area. well it's a given but it didn't hinder me and abby from having a nice conversation with ate. got to know more about her life and her kids. segue lang, there was this kid who apparently we thought was a girl then ate said, "marami ngang nag-aakalang babae 'yan eh" WTF?!? the cute child in a cute pink dirty dress was a guy! he loves to wear dresses kasi and thinks that he's a girl. in short, he's gay. in his mom's words, "nabangga na nga yan ng FX, akala ko dederecho yung buto pero bading pa rin eh" "pagsinasabi ko naman sa kanya na lalaki siya na dapat pareho sila ng suot ng kapatid niya, ayaw niya, gusto niya talaga panty tsaka bestida..." and here's the punchline: "pag tinuturo ko nga ung bird niya tapos tinatanong ko siya kung ano 'yan ang sinasagot niya...MANI!" hahhahaha!
anyway, we needed to get back to virlanie cos it started raining. endless jeep rides and tiresome walking and voila! we're in virlanie again. we had this uber boring (sorry ate hi-c) processing and all of us were hungry and tired and hungry and hungry and hungry. so we went back to our houses. our house served us inihaw na isda. and i was thinking of rellenong fish with stuffed tomatoes,etc. but it was inihaw na galunggong pala. but the sawsawan was really good. and i was hungry. after eating, took a quick bath. it's "quick" because i can't stay long in the bathroom, i opted not to. then watched Madagascar with the kids (you see! they're not income poor! they have nice tv and vcd player and karaoke, etc). we slept in the living room cos there weren't any space in the other rooms. catch: there's mumu daw in the kitchen and the stairs. closed my eyes at 1030pm and i think i fell asleep after an hour. bad thing is i woke up at 3am. emily rose!? friggin scary! didn't remove the cover from my eyes. i'm such a wuss.

saturday. woke up 630am cos the kids will start to wake up and take their bath, eat breakfast and bug us. joke! but they do in a very cute way. but some don't. anyway, the breakfast was champorado (which i thought was cheesedog, apparently i overlooked the CH in the menu for the week). fine, i didn't like it that much--not that sweet and no milk plus very madikit. yes i'm a pintasero. sue me. helped out in the chores after breakfast. stacked some chairs and tried to sweep the floor. then we prepared for the activity we made for them--charades and eb's pinoy henyo game. they're kids, they were cheaters and some were uncontrollable. our team lost and we had to go back home cos it started to rain. lunch was yummy. twas chicken adobo and it was really great. then the usuals. fix what you used, stack chairs, try to help out a little and then sit down again. we're like boarders there. haha! and again i was snooping with the menu. AND WITH GREAT FEAR I SAW "GINATAANG KALABASA WITH SHRIMP" FOR DINNER!!! major suicide!!! i don't eat squash alone with rice. a no-no for my diet! waaah! so while the kids had their 1-3pm siesta, and after taking a bath...

me: ate, labas lang po kami. bisitahin namin yung ibang houses pati mga kasama namin...
nanay nora: ah o sige...
(me, alex and buji went outside and met up with wenki and jojie)
the evil plan --> take a trike and go to shopwise!

so there, we ate shawarma and waffle plus some iced tea. yum! that would suffice my dinner. of course i still ate dinner. a 'pinch' of rice with a 'pinch' of mashed kalabasa with hidden sitaw and shrimps. then some more bonding time with the kids. watched ice age and george of the jungle. then took a bath and took a pill of V...i needed to sleep ok?!? thankfully it hit me at 10ish and woke up around 520am. and went back to sleep again.

sunday! we were excited to go home! haha. uber mean. the morning routines then heard mass with the kids. after, tv plus waiting for lunch. nilagang baka! yummm! then it was time to go home. said or speech to the kids and gave our goodies. then...uuwi na kami!!! of course, we still had the uber fun and exciting processing in arteneo.

i actually had fun bonding with the kids. and in a way, i can say that the immersion wasn't such a total waste of time. the kids 'touched' a part of me...in a way i can't explain. promise. not just to justify or what but they did. and i know i did the same to them. i'm hoping to visit them again. lyndon, buni, lea, roda, roma and the rest. and of course, em-em, the pinakamabait of all the kids.

then the aftermath...
>> didn't attend 730 class the next day. i needed some sleep ok!?
>> found out i failed in our first exam. i therefore conclude that i was pissed the whole day. you can ask carms.
>> realized im back to reality of school again. fuck!
>> got back my social eco lt. *big smile!* "kapal..." haha! a B for me!
>> then i remembered i failed intl finance lt. i'm pissed again.

NOW: i'm trying and hoping and wishing to study econometrics. test on saturday. need all the luck and prayers i can get. so please do. highly appreciated.

i'm kinda sleepy but sayang yung time, i'll try to finish the remaining chapters before hitting the sofa...bed =p

life sucks. and you know it.

long overdue

2006-01-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

never had the chance to post during the christmas break. i was out most of the time. and i was bumming more, too. thanks to charmed. here na...

dec21 block xmas party at mo's = fun! kinda western style gathering with grilled burgers and garden salads. hah! didn't drink much though. had a few shots of pure lambanog *wink*

dec22 pilot xmas party at fort mirch = the place was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! food was great except this certain *toooot!* hahaha! didn't drink much again except for artic vodka (yum!) entertained ourselves with fichur fichurs and again socialized...among ourselves again. hahaha! what do you expect?! saw april zoe din! weebee! haha chat?!?

dec23 enp xmas party = it was fun. food was ok except for the pizza we brought that was uber soshal. and the more shalan granma likyor that bryan demanded! blech! hahaha! anyhow, no comment. zip. for lj only. haha!

dec24 xmas eve = family time of course. wasn't that excited and was itching to go home. i was pagod na rin kasi. and there's no more santa :(

dec25 = MERRY CHRISTMAS! had luncheon with mama ida's family. and cousins too. and i went to glorietta hoping that i could shop for gifts for some friends and for myself. turns out only a few were opened plus the cinemas. boo!

dec26 = charmed season6 day! all day all night!

dec 27 = went out with DS. watched kutob before we ate dinner. and kutob sux! as in major waste of P110. i should've watched enteng kabisote instead or exodus. free ek tickets pa! shef! then we ate at kroc that night. yum! just like the old times. dessert was at figaro. hindi na max brenner. then lfs of mulawin the movie with miko! marry me angel. i've no time to critique the movies. so there. but mulawin's great. no doubt, rated A.

im tired na. the other days were spent couchpotato-ing and slacking and bumming. ergo, didn't do anything for school. well at least i've completed 6 seasons of charmed. didn't buy the 2nd season, pangit nung box. blech!

so there. updated enough already?

too shy to make a title

2005-12-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

and i quote...

"anyway since this is turning into one sentimental entry, sasagadin ko na. thank you thank you for the burgundy boys, esp. mack coz' as Ana said nga, iba ka. the way you help your friends, the way na tinutulungan mo nga kami, kahit sa mga maliliit na bagay, i really do appreciate it [hindi lang dahil sa pag-aayos ng co-curricular activities ko in 'chronological order, starting from the present', paghiram ng mga dvd series, at marami pang iba]. kasi, parati nalang kami/ako reklamo, humihingi ng favor...ewan...parang pabigat sayo? pero nandiyan ka parin. siguro to sum it up, i just want you to know na siguro sa lahat ng kakilala ko ikaw yung pinaka-dependable - in it's truest, purest sense. karamay ka parati [esp.when it comes to those family/blood sagas of our life] sorry talaga, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero naisip ko nga, medyo burden kami sayo pero never ka nagreklamo. sabi ni Ana, pinaka thoughtful ka daw, pero hindi lang yon eh, i mean, friend and not f-r-i-e-n-d ka talaga. lam' mo na yon right? so...salamat. :)"

thank you. alam niyo na rin yon... :P

newsflash!
on a happier note, i received an unexpected phone call last night. not the usual pranks i get from sick ass fuckers. anyway, it was news from the heavens. hehehe! something to be happy about again. so surreal. it was really crazy. december's my month talaga siguro. first it was gameknb. then now, T3. how i love decembers!!! :P

and i got 2!!! *wink wink*

maybe just a quick luck. noh?!

~lucas, brooke and the gang are waiting na....felt!

just for fun

2005-12-08T13:34:00.000+08:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Anne is your soulmate.

You truly love Tracy.

You consider Bryan your true friend.

You know that Elisa is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Eliser for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Anna is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Val is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Mic is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Mic changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Kathy is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Kathy has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

no offense meant. for the record, we are friends aren't we? :)

if that's the case

2005-12-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

... then GAME ON! *umph!*

i'm sorry

2005-12-02T03:04:00.000+08:00

for the longest time, i've been denying what i should be feeling right now. i don't know if i'm suppose to write about this. but a friend said that this might be a good step to express what i really feel.

i'm sorry. for not being able to understand what you're dealing with right now. i know i'm not the perfect friend or in any case, the perfect person to tell it to your face that what you both are doing is wrong. i know you know. still, you have not made any move. don't come up with your its-not-that-easy reasons. like what you've said, you know the situation and i know you're not dumb not to know the consequences. still you made the wrong move.

i'm sorry. if i ever made u feel that i let u down. this i tell you, it's because of you that we both have to end in this kind of situation. not me. i have extended my understanding to the extremes. but every person has his limits. don't go saying i became "mr.kimkim" again. i understood you. reiterate on the tense. but i think understanding you didn't help at all. i'm your friend. i am suppose to help you. i guess you never let me in. so maybe this is what you really want.

i'm sorry. right now all i can say is that the damage has been done. and it just sucks that things should end this way. i'm sorry if i have to blame you. but a big part of what's been happening is because of you. admit it, i know you know.

i'm sorry. not for you but for myself. that i've been trying to hold on to what we had/have. i have to give myself a break this time. you've always been thinking about your OWN happiness. well i guess you've found yours. i can't say that i'm happy for you. then again, i still wish that what you have is what would really make you happy.

i'm sorry. i have to break the ties...for now. i know i still haven't given up. i think this is what's best for us. we've tried a lot of chances and done a lot of mistakes. it's about time we give the space we both deserve. you're clear with what you want but i guess what you need's still a blur to you. this is why i'm giving you all the space you need. the space to do what you want, what you've always wanted. and i hope the space to let you think of what's real.

quick rants and not-so-quick ones

2005-11-30T15:08:00.000+08:00

:: i actually failed my first quiz in econmet. a very remarkable way to start my sem right. pfft. but i do promise to do well next time. yeah right.

:: i'm pressured. my grandparent's and my tito are coming home next year. in time for my (hopefully) graduation month..

:: i'm having a hard time with my thesis. oh wait we don't have a topic yet. naman...

:: i don't have money. i've run out of savings. for real! so not me. waaaahhh! and i want to buy a lot of stuff. a lot! don't worry they're cheap. ako pa!

:: no laptop for me :( but it's ok cos dad got a new job na. yay!

:: he's still enrolled in BS Games Major in Balls Enlarging...argh!!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

just when you had the chance to sail away, someone or something tries to anchor you down. deep. in a way that made you think if sailing's just the right answer. hey, that anchor's real "heavy". *wink ;)* nevertheless, they all keep coming back. it's a good thing, isn't it? yet, some are still shores away. well, not my problem. for the longest time, i've been trying to flow with the waves. this time, i'll go by my own...

despite the cool "-ber" breeze, i find it odd that things are kinda "hot" around here. not in a sexual kind of way. but hot in a fiery angst-y way. fine. honestly i know what the fuss is about. and this is a big deal fuss. for me i guess. for us pala. and with just a little more push of the buttons, i might reach my boiling point...

distance is different from breaking the ties. i know. but can distance actually break the tie? i hope not. so i guess i'll just go with "time makes the heart grow fonder" or "time makes the heart numb". i think it'll be better that way. maybe i can't let go or i just won't. but i can still just live with it. leave it that way. maybe it's better this way. we've tried the other and at a certain point, it didn't go well. for the record, this isn't about love as in "love".

but who am i kidding? i'm still hoping for the best though it's more of a genie-in-a-bottle thing now. we'll never know.

did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible?
did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?
did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
i love you, help me and...SORRY.

hudavthot

2005-11-08T12:51:00.000+08:00

i'm down to my last week before 'final' sem starts. still it seems that i need more time to put myself back before classes begin. or else. this has been one of my hated sembreaks. with everything that's happened, who would want to look back and reminisce. not me.

many people have snooped and thought of what's happening to me. for the record, i'm still in my sanity. and not even close to giving in. yet, we should know that life's not all sugar coated. some bitter truths must be accepted. subalit, ngunit, datapwat, it's not a crime to pretend that everything seems fine. cos there are still a million reasons to smile despite the gazillion reasons to cry.

rr already went to the states, just when i needed one strong shoulder i could lean on. sad, but hey at least i ain't selfish. it's for his own good. but who couldn't help cry if one of your bestest friends is millions of miles away?! i could remember that night when he was about to leave. i was still in batangas that time. such a friend ba? i thought i will be able to get to manila on time to see him and give my goodbye (and of course see me cry...ako pa). unfortunately, we were just able to talk on the phone. i couldn't explain the sadness i felt that night. and the guilt. of not being able to see him before he leaves. i dunno but maybe it's a good thing na rin. yeah, i'm trying to equalize the situation na lang so i won't feel uber bad. i really never said the word "bye" to him until the last call he made and said, "mac, magba-ba-bye na ako..." plus all the thank you's and paalala's. i was in tears that time and all i could say was...well i wasn't able to say anything but "bye" as well. i didn't want to him to hear me cry. i know in a way it'll be much harder for him. besides, nag-iyakan na sila even before he left.

flashback.
friday night, i was with my DS friends. actually the whole friday. went to laiya, batangas. sun. sea. sand. it was all fun. lots of piktyur piktyurs and bonding moments. played volleyball. kayaking. peeing in the sea. haha! and of course, the inuman night. it was a fun night. secrets were spilled. as in SECRETS! (gaga ka parin, val! waf! haha!) and some got wasted. oops ONE lang pala! hahahaha! and a few had problems. it turns out to be a sad-happy night. even got a call from rr that night. siyemps, emo-mode na naman ako. wish i was there with him/them that night. on second thought, maybe twas a good thing that i wasn't there. ayun.

well, a few days left for me to bum. nooo! to study na pala. yesss. i have to read econmet. even dradomdom's face is appearing in my dreams. hehehe! i have to at least TRY to understand it. no more series. no more tree hill. no more veronica mars. no more north shore. only Lost. hehehe! joke!

maybe this is a good thing. try to load myself with school and all. enough of FRIENDS stuff. yes, ayoko na. bahala na.

~bye

this night

2005-10-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

sembreak's been a traitor lately. despite the fact of being a full-time bum, it's been a time of "gathering" my thoughts. idle mind nga naman kasi. so i get all the freedom of thinking about stuff and wallowing in self-pity and depression and disappointment and... hay...

"people are gonna disappoint you. i don't know but one day you'll realize that, maybe, you're the disappointment." thanks, p.sawyer. all i can say is, ditto. i guess it's true. i've been letting other people compromise with the ME. and now i'm realizing that maybe i'm the 'disappointment', that maybe it's all me.

may mga panahong gusto kong umiyak na parang feeling ko, i'd feel better after. pero kahit anong pilit ko, parang repressed lahat. parang it's all inside. the sadness. the pain. basta lahat. and hindi ko talaga malabas. na kahit na may ibang tao nang nakakapansin, ewan ko, hindi ko pa rin malabas. may nagsabi pa nga, "you seem to have a dark cloud above you. iba ang aura mo." well, i don't know if it's that obvious. if it is, then just understand. but i'm not forcing you. hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko ma-vent lahat.

tama si p.sawyer, "people are always leaving." at sana tama rin siya sa, "but sometimes, they come back." i hope they do. nakaka-frustrate na in times when i needed you most, saka pa nawala. some people do leave. and some have left without even knowing. and i think it's time for me to stop waiting. i just have to go on with my life. move on? pwedeng hindi pero at least try to go on and sumakay sa next ride. sorry if this sounds confusing or weird but i think 'metaphors' lang ang kaya ko for public viewing.

sana lang talaga kayanin ko. sana lang magawa ko na 'to. sabi ko nga, for myself naman and not for them. and then maybe, i won't be too much of the disappointment na. ewan ko. until now, i'm still bothered of all the things around me. around it.

nga pala, to my friends who'll be reading this (and those who'll be concerned), i'm sorry if i won't answer when you ask. just one thing, be there. ok na ako dun. opening up's not really my talent. i'm really sorry. i don't know if it's about trust or what. ganito na talaga ako.

anyway, so much for one night. parang mas marami akong naiisip na isulat kanina. pero under privileged ako sa comp usage dito. hehe. aba, still have the time to crack pala.

don't hate the players, hate the game. but sometimes, it's the players that make you hate the game. hate both as much as you love them. ganun ka-simple.

putting up a smile

2005-10-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

papa had a successful operation. thank God. He sure is my saviour. mom said papa will be confined for two weeks, for recovery and observation. but his bypass operation went well. and being a stubborn old kid, he wanted to go home agad. tsktsk... papa talaga... i felt sad when i heard that my cousin, david, cried about the news and he couldn't even look at papa's condition in the hospital. he was close to him. i wish i was in the states to comfort mama, tita and my cousins...and of course, papa. still, i thank God. thank you thank you! for putting a smile on my face again. thank you for hearing me. now i'm praying for his speedy recovery. luv u pops!

before i forget...

belated HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY reggie bro! you're getting old. i don't even know what your age is. haha! anyway, hope you had ur special day.

and last, i hope he's good now. i know he will be. he's strong. i'm here for you bro! :)

****************

finals will be in a week. i'll be having 2 oral exams and 2 finals. hopefully i get exempted in int'l eco. yay! *fingers crossed* sobrang ass talaga! i had to take one of the earliest spots for philo orals. super shef! third to the last ba naman ako to sign-up. stoopid cara y cruz kasi! argh! the bad thing pa is i have my history finals the same day. i had to move my theo orals to friday. my only hope is theo. need to keep an 'average' qpi. haaaayyy...

just want this to end. i still have another sem to worry about. mas madugo. shef! i hate econmet! :(

pray

2005-10-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

the only weapon i have right now. the only solution to all my problems.

there's just too many things happening in a span of days. hindi maganda. and the feeling's not good. really. though i try to paint a smile or a jolly gesture. i can't help not to think of what can happen. mahirap. i don't know how long i have to endure...we have to endure. ang hirap. *sigh*

yes, friends. it's kinda serious. i'm not in my jologs-funny-mode right now.

i just don't know what to do. i want to escape. i can't face the problems anymore. parang hindi na nauubos. parang parati na lang...

but i know i'm gonna be ok.

i have my family. i have friends.

i have You. i know You'll never leave me... i know.

~sigh

** 9.24 dat nyt
** 10.3 papa was rushed to the hospital

pause

2005-09-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

i wish my world could take a stop right now. even for 5 seconds. or give me a day.

don't know how to deal with them.

school. life. friends. family. people.

pls.
pls.
pls.

i want to. but i can't. help.

...

pride's my sin! :)

2005-09-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

he said: "pasensya ka na ha. ma-PRIDE kasi akong tao. eto lang kasi ang meron ko..."

she said: "alam mo ba na sa pag-amin mong ma-PRIDE ka, pinakita mong HUMBLE ka rin?"

i say: "ANG PRIDE PRIDE KO! SOBRA!!! AS IN SOBRANG MA-PRIDE AKONG TAO!" hahahahaha! ;p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on the other side of the world:

> i sucked in my philo orals. luckily i got a C. fine! i won't bargain.
> history's sh*t! all that reading and sleepless nights and i still got a D. argh!!!
> econometrics. dropped. nuff said.
> i think i love theology. umm... not really. hehe! u lil cheater... tsk tsk!
> school sucks! school's hell! ;s
> i want to go to quiapo... *wink*

wishlist:

> new shoes
> new slippers
> DVD! go pirates!
> pants! shirts! polos!
> m-o-n-e-y! p-e-r-a!

breathers:

> SHINDIG: Tokyorama...last Sept. 3 at Palm Beach

- it was simply "bangin!". lol!

> inuman session with DS peeps at Burg last Sept.9

> Miko bought my OC Season1. at last! now i've moolah.

> uber conio movie. ahihihihihi...

> etch.

guess?~

shallow-ness

2005-08-30T00:21:00.000+08:00

sometimes just letting it all out can make a difference...

i never thought i'd be able to do it. well i kinda did. and i think i did well. good enough to be noticed. but it wasn't my intention at all. and that's the strange thing.

we've talked. we've said our pieces. but something heavy still is bothering me. and i'm not sure why i'm feeling this way. i can't even explain it. pati sa mga nagbabasa ngayon, don't worry. pareho tayong walang clue. all i know is that something just struck me. fine. i think i partially know why. pero hanggang dun na lang... the 'added' feeling, i'm not sure.

just a product of my shallow moments. heck. i was feeling good the whole day despite my dripping sipon and uncomfy cough.

like what i said, "for a change naman..."

i don't know if you can hear me. i do hope you could. for now, let me flow in my own river. and let's meet there. i'm longing to see you, and you know that. ;)

namen! now you made me think of things i shouldn't be pondering for now.

*sigh* miss you!

told you so

2005-08-16T01:25:00.000+08:00

first of all...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

JEMPOT

and

Gerard!

segue: first time i texted jem with a very heart-warming message and he reciprocated it with a touching message as well. share lang...

"same here! ur d greatest brother i cud ever have...syempre kasama narin ung apat na unggoy sa bahay! ingat ka! make us proud. pero dnt 4get, wala kaming pressure sayo ok? love u 2. gudnyt! magaral ka! sipain kta jan haha"

aww...tear. hehehe :)

anyway, i told you so. i wasn't able to keep my promise. i haven't been studying again :( uber bad!!! i have a test tomorrow and i haven't read a single handout yet. haaayy...

gudluck nlng~

i'm an addict sigh

2005-08-10T14:17:00.000+08:00

this has to be said. after my hell week, i finally realized that i have to plan my life ahead. but no! shef talaga all the tv and the dvds. i couldn't help press 'on' and watch til my eyes hurt. shit! shit! i thought i would be able to finish the dvd series-es this week and then i'm done and will be focusing on school...but NO! big big NO!

* oh! pil-seung - yeah yeah! it's "jujunovela" (word c/o pits). i'm down to my last cd na... finally!
* oc season2 - i'll be starting at cd 4/8...long long way...
* desperate housewives - i'd watch it this weekend with my family since this is our 'bonding' series...seriously :)
* green rose - another juju. now in disc 9/11. yay!

and i thought it ends here. but NO!...again. jem's friend selflessly let us borrow her vcds...

* one tree hill season2 - yay!!! i won't be buying the dvds na since my season 1's vcd din...
* north shore - something new yet cliche'-ic
* summerland - mej teenybopper. or not. i'm not sure. i just watched the pilot episode
* the L word - yup it's the lesbian series. but it's season2. i have to see season1 first... :)

there. so i guess school's goodbye for me. and heeeellloooo TEEVEE!!! :)

so much for the drama~

the drama that was.is.will be

2005-08-10T14:04:00.000+08:00

sunday. it was the telenovela. cutting the long story, i went home after mass and saw my brother outside -- he told me that my older brothers were fighting. so i hurried inside worrying about mom. and there they were. standing face to face. shouting at each other's guts. it didn't take long 'til i finally joined in. secrets, well maybe not all, were spilled. angst exploded and tears flowed. yup, that's right. i was shaking crazy for i felt anger and pity towards him. you know who you are. everyone said their piece but not everyone was satisfied. that would be me. unless i see him change. unless i see him fix his life...and our lives too, then maybe it could be a fairy tale ending. as for now, i can manage being apathetic and cold towards you. serves you right. and where the hell did you get ur reasons?! maybe a shrink could help you. that might be serious you know. heck!

a bomb just exploded but is starting to tick. don't think i'll let all these pass... you wish! you hopeless j*rk! but it could all change. but it starts with you first.

grr~

rising from ashes

2005-08-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

yes! i'm finally back. at least i didn't hit the 1-month-delay-in-posting mark. hahaha! my life's been uber busy lately. yup, it's the new 'me'! asa! hahaha!

i've raised the flag even before the battle started. it was such a courage act to accept reality. this is something serious...really. it's about my econometrics subject. i've accepted the fact that i'll be failing my first long test. i suck in this subject. but mind you, i'm a lover of numbers. not! imagine, number 1 pa lang, sobrang blank na ko. i started skipping the numbers to find a question that i THINK i know the answer. but kapoink! i skipped all the numbers. no exage! my answers from 1-4 were purely wild guesses. shit! i should've slept the night na lang sana...

ok, just a recap of the week... it's been hell for me. my week was lined up with tests, readings, homeworks, and the sort. shef talaga! to think na i was comfortable being a slacker and bum-shell. twas partly (or 3/4-ly) my fault. i planned ahead but it still didn't work out for me. i was crunching time for the past days cos i needed to finish CHAPTERS. pootangna! imagine reading almost 10 chapters the night before the exam. to think that we already had 2 mondays of no classes. stoopid me talaga... i had to sleep 5am and wake up 7/8am for my tests/classes.

segue. bitch pa. we lost in IAC already :( meaning i won't be playing volleyball soon. haaay... end of college volleyball low-career: august3 approximately 730pm. then the girl was bitchin' pa. as in! akala mo kung sinong magaling kung pumorma as if sobrang galing niya. but no! puro siya lifting and double sa pag-set! instead of 2 seconds, parang 2 years yung ball sa hand niya. bitch! bitch! it turns out, my friend 'knows' her and she's really a bitch daw talaga. hah!

on the brighter flip side, i think i did well in my exams except in econometrics which is plainly given. i already got my theology test back. and i'm satisfied, very much. :) sometimes, it sure pays off to read and study once in a while.

so i have this new resolution. i promise to read my books and study them ahead of time...promise! i'm keeping my fingers crossed...

like what' dy-liacco said, i won't let the sun set on me. rather, i'll look on the future and do better. haayy... as if madali...

on the mas brighter flip side of my as-of-now-carefree-life, i have the chance to finish what i left hanging -- my dvd marathon!!! :) i'll finish oh pil-seung, desperate housewives, oc season2 and green rose. happy!!!

so much for the ranting. i'm still waiting for jem to pick me up. or else, i'll end up commuting again tomorrow going home. ;(

bye for now~

sheer bliss

2005-07-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

i have OC season2!

need i say more?!

plus, i, or someone, found a new haven for me. i'll buy Tree Hill season2 din! yay! happy happy me! :p

oh, it's pirated. don't be surprised.

cutting this short. cos the iexplorer's fucking shit. =z

hiatus

2005-07-15T14:57:00.000+08:00

pasensya mga friends...was it a month?! hehehe... anyway, i'm trying to get back on track now. i haven't been bombarded with school shit. uhh..i think i was but...heck! you know naman i'm so devil-may-care when it comes to school. bwahaha! to think na we're graduating. *fingers crossed* woohoo!

i just finished my requirements for the yearbook. i've been cramming it for days since only a few gave me good write-ups. hahaha :) labshoo pipol. i was even thinking of doing a flash for my senior's page. pagawa actually or using the photoshop. but no! i'm a dumbo in graphic design and those shenanigans.

(tagal ng bell...) i'm having my first class of the day. first and last. haha! what a wonderful weekend for me. actually, no. i NEED/MUST/SHOULD start reading. haaaayyy...

recap of my not-ur-average-teenage-life-cos-i'm-no-teenager. shef...

* i'm not having the time of my life in school. metrics is hating me. and the feeling is mutual. curse the teacher! argh!

* i love mwf days and tth dismissal times.

* i haven't done anythign productive for the past weeks. the usual lazybum nanaman nanaman nanaman nanaman...

* i'm not saving for the rainy days. there's no week that my pockets were not robbed. i still owe someone P200 na dapat P130+ lang...you think?!

* i received my first billing for Sun. 600 amp...

* i got my own credit card which i don't plan to use unless it's emergency *wink* :)

* PARTIES!!! i'm loving them. will attend one later :) yay!

speaking of, post for Miko's debut to follow. jem! where are the fichur fichurs?!!?!?! ... :z

next post. promise...

klang-klang-kleng-klang-kleng....class time~

no fun!

2005-06-26T15:23:00.000+08:00

it's been two weeks of school and it's really not fun. all my subjects require heavy reading. heavy for me, that is. plus, i'm in a sea of confusion every econmet time. to think it's 1.5hrs... heeellp!!!

just 'finished' my part for our case study. really had a hard time looking for data. didn't expect that import-export would be that tedious. pfft. and i'm still missing 2 data for 2 years :(

school's been hell lately. hell as in mainit and hell cos it's boring. couldn't find any source of happiness aside from my friends. even the idea of graduation doesn't excite me. especially the idea of gradpic--both formal and creative shot. nakaka-stress ha!!! i can't think of a 'cute' pose for my creative shot. i'll copy from other people na lang... boo! hehehe... shef ka...

++++++++++

we've been seeing each other regularly. i'm talking about my ds friends. we always have this dismissal thingy (sorry bange! not intentional...) since they all go home together and they meet up at burg. yun lang ata ang fun...

++++++++++

and yeah, to my friend... i feel for you. don't let words pull you down. :)

++++++++++

nitz gave us this draw-a-person test. it's a psychological thing and you can tell who you are through your drawing. projection ba... thanks nitz! :)

and here's the result of my drawing:

Eyebrows: contemptuous, haughty attitude, questioning attitude (ahm bad...)
Ears: None (surprise-surprise!)
Arms: Ambitious and striving for success, demand for love and attention
Eyes: suspiciousness of motives and behavior of others, limited breadth of vision but penetrating wariness in paranoid personality
Face: None
Feet: Tenuous grasp on reality and strong need for flight from frustrating environment
Hair: Depression, drop in libido (rrrrigghhttt...)
Legs: Striving for autonomy
Line quality: Fearfulness, insecurity, inadequacy
Lips/mouth: Some rejection or denial of oral-dependent needs in rigid compulsiveness
Head: Obsessive-compulsives’s expression of the desire to deny the site of painful thoughts and guilt feelings, possible feelings of intellectual inadequacy

you won't see my drawing 'cos it's panget...

~dubidubidapdap-dubidubidapdap-dubidubidubi....

the hell of reality

2005-06-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

classes started. as usual, it sucked. i'm not getting the hang of it yet. i miss summer. anyway, just a recap...

first day was fine. i wasn't able to do my first-day-funk or my mr.congenital (haha!) skills for my int'l eco class. gud thing i knew some people and found a new friend. my econometrics class was scary. durr... twas domdom. obviously you should be scared. last, my history class was fun. the teacher was fun and had some close friends with me -- kathy, angela and karen. my gelprens. hehehe...

second day. blah. i was half asleep in my theology class. 930am ba naman?! then my next class was at 230pm. talk about 4hr break. gud thing i live in burg. taray?! but i'm dropping the class (actually i dropped the class na). not my type of thing. and it would be a hindrance for me passing econmet. extra load means extra work....nah! philo class was boring too. and carmela saved me a seat next to the aisle, near the teacher, with my deaf ear facing her. gudluck na lang...

thursday. boring. tiring. nuff said...

what's to unfold today i gotta see. til my next post.

bye~

ponder

2005-06-12T01:31:00.000+08:00

if you've got all the time in the world, trust me, don't ponder. take it from experience. i've had sleepless nights and unanswered questions. still it remains a big ignorance to me.

thank you for the rain. it poured hard that i needed a shed. i saw a rainbow appeared. thank you from my heart.

i've said it many times. now i'm saying it once agian. i'm never gonna. i won't. promise. i'll take my pride into it. or maybe give me some time. so it means forever. or maybe not. who knows. wait til you rot if you want. for the record, this isn't angst.

i'll lean on you and you'll lean on me and we'll be okay. thanks dave matthews.

3 days

2005-06-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

i had 3 days of fun. uber fun! :) we participated in the orsem again. unlike last year, we joined ENTertainment committee na. we were under orsem idol. yup! parang american idol where you vote for ur bets.

subra funny ng mga auditions. we never thought it'd turn out like the ones we see on tv. promise talaga! lafftrip ito! ibang level!!! funny but fun...labo!

i wasn't able to go the second day since i went to quiapo with jappy. can i just share that quiapo's amazing?! i'm a "quiapo-virgin". imagine seeing dvds priced at P35. to see is to believe talaga! im hoping to go back this saturday. yipee :)

orsem night was a blast. twas worth the time and effort. i had fun seeing people. naka-graduate din kami sa paglilinis ng covcourts at sa nakakairitang boses ni jammy... haaay! yey!!! i loved the contestants esp jowee marquez and pam bravo. uber galing! (btw, jowee marquez is joey marquez' daughter...no joke!) plus bands like spongecola, kjwan, 9th avenue, etc. fine! im not a band-person pero twas all worth it!

syempre, i loved orsem cos i have my orsem buddies with me...chowl and kathy!!! labshoo bitches :)

last day na~

movies night :)

2005-06-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

for the first time, i think, i was able to watch 2 movies in a theater house in one day. yay! wala lang. just a sense of fulfillment knowing i'm such a stingy person. anyway, we really didn't plan to go out but i ended up bringing japs along. we were supposed to watch say that you love me (shalan!) since i, confessingly, really wanted to see it. im jologs. but we have to wait for rr to finish all his errands. we then decided to watch house of wax. the movie's worth our P130. we saw some flaws but still twas worth watching. still, i love paris hilton and elisha cuthbert i've been a movie fan this break. weeeh! so not me. hahaha! i'd probably be going back to the piratas anytime soon. nauubos na savings ko...

after watching house of wax. we met with rr and watched say that you love me. go mark and jen! jologs amp!!! in full honestly, twasn't what the movie we expected. andaming ka-weirdohan and twas uber obvious. from mark's hair to jennylyn's double. pramis! haaayy oh well...

i lav it!!! :) (cos i lav paris hilton!)

****************************************

japs said sumting about her not being able to sleep because someboday DAW is thinking of her. well if that's the case, can "my sambady" stop thinking of me rin and let me sleep. or better yet tell me who you are. im desperate. kidong. i have sleepless nights. yak! da drama! hahaha! :)

bye na nga~

reality, questions, etch.

2005-06-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

reality 1:

school. s. c. h. o. o. l. or... a.d.m.u.

nuff said. segue: i hate my sked!!! wait... i hate my subjects and teachers pala.

fuck!

*************

reality 2:

i had the guts to tell my friend about my biggest question (as of the moment ha). and i got the same answer. she had a point. but it never crossed my mind in some way. at least, she never mentioned PRIDE... or did she?!

*************

reality 3:

i had this chit-chat with an old friend. an old sister. she asked me the question, "kung ikaw ba yung nasa position na yun. anong gagawin mo?" shiyet! honestly, my answer was same as the 'jackass'. shit! i could qualify as one! hahaha! but thanks for the sermon cos i learned something from it. :) mishu!!!

my bros are pressuring me. so i'm going na...~

sin city

2005-06-05T11:33:00.000+08:00

twasn't our kind of movie, i suppose. but we managed to get the fun out of it. :) we watched SIN CITY last night in smb (shalan!). we had a moonwalker bonding sesh. for some sorta reason, twas a fun fun night. eating candies. and laughing our asses out cos of stoopid shits. hahaha :) funny talaga. we should've done this more often. tsk tsk. pero oo nga, kung more often, baka bankrupt na kami ngayon... waaahhh!!!

the movie was...different. it's kinda a cousin-of-a-killbill-sorta-movie. hahaha! mej gory and artsy-fartsy stuff. no surprise. twas 'almost' a quentin tarantino film. almost since he's a special guest director.

i love the BET! hahaha! money back basta no feelings or expressions or whatsoever from the movie. or else...pay! but she tried to enjoy the movie, i guess. better than strolling alone til 930 in the evening. hahaha! labshoo trey!

mic and i were laughing naman since i told tracy, "ok talaga 'tong SIN CITY swear!!! uber maganda daw sabi ng friends ko..." hahaha! in truth, i was bein an enehaf. so inside, i started texting my friends about the movie. it turns out hindi pa nila napapanood!!! wahahaha! so we planned that in the end, we'll say...MAGANDA KAYA!!! but in truth, it was. mej mapapaisip ka pa ng konti since you have to put the stories altogether.

sumatotal, i enjoyed every single bit. :) i wasn't in my topak-mode na kasi...

back to normal

2005-05-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

my grandparents already left. my tita and cousins left, too. haayy... i miss them. i miss the noise of endless running and kid-shouting. the 2-groups during lunch and dinner. i miss the almost 2 months of having 3 families in this house. *sigh* ganito pala feeling. nakakapanibago. i know tis just a hangover. i'll be over it soon. and i know they'll be back, too. :) i miss ged, my cousin. he's my peborit kasi and they all know that. i give him special attention cos he's such an adorable kid. haayy...

******************************

now i'm back to my old self again. i paved the way of letting them use both computers for stoopid ragnarok since they won't be playing much soon, i guess. and now i'm mr. graveyard-shift again. waahh! das why im so thin! dah?! anyway, i've been a couchpatatas for the past weeks...

3am - sleep
12noon - wake up/ lunch
130 - tv (eat bulaga...hah!)
230 to 430 - jologs fever (need not say...)
430 to 630 - one cd of THE OC season1
..... eat dinner
..... watch endless jologs flicks featured in the boobtube

FINALLY! after a lot of patience of 1-cd-a-day-to-prevent-idleness, i finished Season 1 of THE OC. the best!!! suwerr!!! better than ONE TREE HILL! yes, val! u heard me right! i love the Cohens, Coopers, Nichols, etc... and i'm just in time for Season2 on ETC which actually airs later tonight! yay! yay! :)

******************************
i'm now counting the days of my soon-to-end summer break. i'll soon be a bum no more. haayy... to add to my dilemma. i have a very nice random number (621). now i have to suffer with the worst teachers and the worst times. f*ck!

******************************
how's my family?
ina: still worrying about the bills...and more bills. plus my prodigal brother. mean!
wan: he's back to his old stoopid self. just recently removed the plastic he wore when my grandparents were here. suck ass!
tu: where are you?! haha! now feeling the hazards of 12hours travelling, etc...
tri: the best! as always... hah!
por: hopefully not trying to be like 'wan'. not yet enrolled and doesn't want to transfer to another school. still in the stage of bein a gago or a matino. kids...
pip: hasn't grown yet. mean! im asking him of considering transfering to another school when he gets to high school. but no! he still wants the elite public school. another child sucked up by the demons of ragnarok. pakshet ragnarok!
sics: hopefully grow to be like me -- responsible and dependable. haha! trying to introduce himself to the world of stoopidy = ragnarok! he misses my cousins badly. aww...

******************************
como estas mis amigos?
harhar: bonding times with him last saturday. swimming and sleepover! yay! talks under the sun. i think i spent most days of my break with him. when i'm out, that is. goodluck bro!
mteverestS: enjoyed the swim! and looking forward to our bonding sessions! labshoo!
woot: had fun with you last friday! sooper! we had the good buys...again! haha! rak on! more bonding sessions before school starts k?
thechicken: now busy with school and busy watching shows which he's too greedy to lend. hahaha! joke! as promised ok?!
mr.nagnat: diet! joke! i heard he's taking few subjects right now. that's the latest news i heard. sapsap?!
neegrow: how's regcom? aegis? ibm? how about the kada?! no time for us again?! boo!!! haha!
peegee: we never heard of you since your 'breakup'. you're like ISLAW PALITAW...kasi lulubog-lilitaw sa tae ng kalabaw. yah ur like tae! haha! now you're here, and now you're not! labo mehn!
nolan: may signal ba sa mars?! btw, where are you?!...again?! bouncing?! joke! haha!

gotsd: sorry for ditching u guys the last time. something just came up. seriously! sorry! bawi ako swear!!! u heard of our mega jologs fans day?!? hahahah!!!

dwfr4: how are you!?! i'll be seeing you soon!!! :)

byenow~

just surprised

2005-05-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

i was surprised. i never thought he was that kind of guy. i mean i looked at him as someone...astig. u know what i mean. i guess he is human after all. hehe. kidding. but hands down ako since i know it took a lot of courage just to write about what he felt. and the girl. i was surprised too. i thought they were a perfect couple. i guess there's really no such thing as a 'match-made-in-heaven'. if there is, tell me.

i was surprised. i was blog-hopping til i read about a friend and what happened to her and to someone i know who, in a way, became/is my friend. anyway, good guys don't really finish last. cos some good guys get 'FINISHED'. i've known experiences like these. and one even with a close friend. hehehe. magawa ko rin kaya? cos i've always believed that i'm a good guy. twas one thing on my list. but i'm having second thoughts... as they say, what goes around comes around. so be scared.

boo~

wasap?!

2005-05-20T00:42:00.000+08:00

haven't posted for several days. kainis! dami ko pa naman kwento. but i don't feel like it anymore. the excitement's not there anymore. hahaha!

wasap?!

** i've been bumming for the longest time. it feels good that i'm not forced to wake up early and sleep early. then again, i'm still worrying about my future. haayyy...

** i'm an official couchpatatas. tv's like my bestfriend na! actually even before. i can't take my eyes off the 'trashy' shows of the rival networks. oh yes! i'm not into cable tv! hahaha! don't call me jologs. call me nationalistic! wtf?! hehehehe...

** i'm stoopid of not watching THE OC. the good thing's here all along. since no one's giving me One Tree Hill Season 2, Charmed Seasons 6-7, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, ANTM 4, Desperate Housewives... then i'll just enjoy THE OC til classes start. which is like weeks from now pa. haaayyy...

** i love MISCHA BARTON!!! :) ...and Peyton, Brooke, Haley, etc...

** we had an episode here days ago entitled..."THE SENSITIVE BITCH STRIKES BACK!"... haha! the girl was reprimanded of being the one visiting her bf. my conservative lola talaga... tsk tsk tsk. very meany!!! hehehe! there goes the gurl... vrrrooooomm!!!

** BELATED HAPPY 75TH BIRTHDAY MAMA!!! i lav u!

** my internet card expires tomorrow, oh! later pala and i got to use 9 hrs...out of 30?!? waahh!!! refund refund! hehehe!

** my line's activated na on saturday...tomorrow! yay! wala lang... first postpaid plan ko eh... loser ba?! hehehe...

** i've been feeling sick lately. my mom says i'm just OA. :( i think i have congenital heart disease?!? joke!!! *knock knock knock*

** seriously, there are times im having a hard time to breathe. maybe it's because it's sooper mainit. or maybe it's only me. yeah... it's only me...

** "tignan mo si macky, ang OA.." -my mom talking to our helper... boohoo!!!

** it took me some time before i could tell my tito about my soaring tuition fee. :( hopefully he'd still send me to school. hehe...

** i'm anorexic. haha! big joke! i just have this feeling of not wanting to eat sometimes...

** i want a laptop. and an mp3 player. a new phone. money. :)

** i've got so many things to write... maybe next time. lag-mode ako eh...

** i miss... haaayyy...

** i'm going back to my 'old home'... but keeping my 'new one'.... gets?! :) "it's good to be back..."

im hungree na~

frickin scared at 315am

2005-05-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

lemme start first...

woke up early (not really) and took a bath agad cos i'll be meeting kathy in the mrt station at around 130-200pm. and thank god for 42.2 degrees.. the train i was riding had full aircon blast. oa but for real! twas my first experience of a 'strong' aircon in an mrt train. wala lang. then we attended the GA for orsem. unlike last year, we joined ENTERTAINMENT committee na and not logcom (uugghhh guys, bakit kayuughh nuughkuughh-uughhpo?!). met new people from our sub-committee. we liked the INA girl cos she's fun. we'll try to get close with her. kasi nga fun siya! anyway after the GA we went to burg. then we decided to watch a movie in G4. we watched...

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR STORY

can i just say...poot*ngina na lang kung hindi ka matakot?!? twas one freaky movie. nerve wracking talaga! and i'm still experiencing hangovers. hehe! i'm trying to research about it. wala lang. trying to scare myself more. nah! it's scary but interesting. pero swear! u have to watch it! another worth-it movie for me. i sure hope it comes in three. first was Hide and Seek then this one...what's next?! house of wax?! anyway, yun lang. just watch it! now na! as in! hehehe...

it's still frickin hot! i miss the ercon in G4 knina. i was complaining na subra lamig but now i'm missing it. waahh!

btw, kudos to my horror flick buddies -- the jaded quill and the drama queen. plus the freaked out miko. hehe! ingats ka sa burg dude! joke! :)

til here. i can't bear to stay up late. i can't stay til 315am. you'll know why when you watch the movie... scary-scary! :)

outta here~

count with me

2005-05-11T00:57:00.000+08:00

one. it's been a day's sleep for me. came home from japs' at around 10am. had my regular 'meeting' and took a shower and then straight to bed. woke up at around 1pm to eat lunch. after eating, i seriously went to bed again. it's so unlike me. me = sleep?! anyway i woke up at around 430pm. i wouldn't want to miss a day for hours of sleeping. fortunately, mama didn't catch me. or maybe she did and she didn't care. hah! but i've got my plans already plus my loyal accomplice...mommy! luv ya, mom!

two. inuman at japs' last night turned out ok. we sang. i sang. i sucked but i managed to get a 91. hey! ur lookin at a desperate singer. hehe! we had chips and lights. smb light, that is. heehee! huli kaw! haha! those were the times. twas only the 5 of us. the bum buddies (me and rr), the mag-ina, magkaaway, mag... (bry and eliser) and the busy nurse and host (japs). we were supposed to go home at around 2am but we didn't. long story. so we ended sleeping there. we slept at around 430am. and woke up at 8am. then you could go back to "one." hehehe...

three. i already got the brown one. next is white, black and green. :)

four. i'm still disappointed and depressed for not having to watch one tree hill episodes. i missed 7 episodes hoping that i'd soon have a copy at hand. haaayyy... please please! send me an angel who brings good news. *hoping*

five. i'm fervently praying that i could get my own laptop. so i would stop cursing my brothers and so we could leave each other's world. i badly want my own computer and my own dsl connection (which is impossible). it would be nice if i could dload the shows i want than buying them from someone. dad's planning of sending his laptop cos he seldom uses it. jem wanted to have it and in return give me the one he's using now. but i don't want his laptop! i want dad's!!! :(

six. i got a new line and a new phone from sun cellular. wala lang. the feeling of having a new phone's great but it would be much better if i get the high-end ones. heehee! joke! of course i'm grateful... :) i'm currently loving my new toy which my mom envies. gusto harbatin... you'll get urs too! jem promised. :)

seven. i'm still a bum. and it's still frickin hot! and the country's still poor. pero talo pa rin si pacquiao kahit na mainit sa tugegarao...

eight. *pat pat* joke! i'm still feeling guilty. g-u-i-l-t-y. the next thing you know, everything's different. faster than a snap of a finger. i don't know where the fingers are pointing. me?! :'(

nine. ten. eleven. i'm off to bed...

zzz~

looking back

2005-05-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

i was reminiscing my childhood days hours ago, i mean yesterday. being a complete homebuddy this summer, i managed to spend time with my younger brother/s and my cousins. after watching my usual jolog shows, i joined them in the terrace. they were playing a sorta langit-lupa game. i didn't like their game primarily because i'm sure that someone will get hurt going up and down the ledges on the sides. so i suggested that we play tumbang preso. then i got bored. monkey-monkey-anabel. then my brother's friend (which is also our kapitbahay) said, "ah ICE-WATER, kuya macky..." umm...okay?! the monkey-anabel we used to play is now the 'new and improved' ice-water. don't be confused. ice is monkey and water is anabel. you know what i mean. then i got bored...again. kasi naman gusto nila kasali ako eh mejo lang naman pwede ko silang hawiin ng sabay-sabay para mataya sila. which i think they enjoyed especially the "VIVA!" part...wahaha! going back... i even wanted to play charades with them. but they were too young i guess. my cousin wanted duck duck goose. can i just share that there was never a time in kinder when i didn't excuse myself from playing duck duck goose?! i don't know. weird talaga ako nung bata... hah! finally, i decided that we play MARCO POLO. fortunately, they loved the game. and unfortunately, they didn't want me not playing with them. haayy... kids nga naman... they love meeh! :) and so we played til they couldn't even notice their own feet...

speaking of looking back, i had this talk with my grandma weeks ago. she asked me things about our family and what's happening now. and mr. chuchumbong-me told her how i 'hate' my brother. actually i didn't use the word 'hate' cos i know it'd hurt her, knowing that kuya's her "alaga"... but not for long! they were honestly surprised upon seeing him -- how he looks right now and how he acts. yada-yada... long story. to cut it short, they were happy cos they don't have complains about me. swear. they're proud and i'm pressured. gets mo?! but i never got to tell them everything. but there'll be a part2 so i guess i still have the opportunity. talking with mama made her tell me stories about their family before -- mama, papa, mom, my tito and titas. i found out, surprisingly, that mom was not good daw at home but rather more in running errands. hmm...kaya pala lakwatsera nanay ko ah... but still she manages to 'fix' the home. bravo! and i also learned that my mom was an aktibista. hehe! joke! she could've been one but instead mama and papa told her to stay away from her activist friends. hehe! there was this martial law thing...makabayan ek-ek in UST (yes! my mom was once a thomasian..) until mama and papa decided to put her in sinpul (st.paul) where she finished her studies. yun lang... plus some few chit-chats and little stories to tell...

what else? i've been in smb for the past several days...and weeks. for all the reasons. one time we watched Can This Be Love after playing badminton where i lost my favorite necklace which originated from boracay where my brother and kaberks is currently having fun. small world noh?! as i was saying... the movie was so-so. there were some 'cute' scenes, i admit, but i didn't like how it ended -- specially the wedding part. hello?!? unrealistic!?! another reason is the damn vcds na hindi matapos tapos!!! waaahh!!! sorry mona! but im really getting frustrated and a bit angry. wala naman akong kita dito noh! :-s

we've been celebrating for weeks and there's still another one next week! yay! more ice cream! plus it'll be mother's day! we've 3 mothers in the house now. yay! more mocha cake or chocolate cake! yay! yay! wala lang... feeling bata lang...

i'll end here. it's getting kinda long. and boring. and i'm getting kinda sleepy.

nyt~

from the heart

2005-05-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

i can never imagine my life without you. you have always been there in my whole existence. there was never a time that i never felt your presence or even ur care. i may have grown.. matured.. became more stubborn.. more independent.. but the tie that binds us remains strong. and it will. i promise. and i'll be keeping this promise.

there were times that i wanted to hid in your arms. your security was sheer bliss. i could remember the day you left me for my first day in class, or the time i forgot my baon to school, when i was having a hard time with my homeworks... your mere presence gave everything an answer. with you, everything around me seems all right.

we had our own fights, our misunderstandings and little tampuhans. i know i never said 'sorry'. you know me...and my infamous pride. but i'm sure u felt how sorry i am. because i do. i've seen you hurt and cry. and these were the times that i can never look at you. i feel twice the pain seeing a tear roll down your eye. seriously. you are the source of my strength and seeing you down crushes me harder. u even try to hide the pain but i can still feel and see it. sorry. if i couldn't do nothing to ease ur what your feeling.

thank you. again. for being there when i felt that everyone else turned their backs on me. when i felt i was alone. when i was weak. sa dami ng mga sinakripisyo mo para sa akin, para sa amin, hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula para lang mapasalamatan ka...

i love you more than words could ever define. and i will love you until the angels close my eyes.

i love you! luv ya a bunch! (you loved me saying this and writing this in cards when i was small..) so i'm saying it once again. luv ya a bunch, mom!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!

post-less

2005-05-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

i was about to write a new post. pero tinamad ako. its been a long time. hehe! things have happened. yet no time to write. i don't know what to write about and where to start. haaayyy!

news! i've already uploaded my some pictures! yay!!! *clap clap* but i haven't posted them in any online album...sowee!

Pictures (Coming Soon):
+ my merienda party at burg
+ 21st abadudi with enp
+ our GALERA trip...woohoo!
+ plus more...

i have to wake up early tomorrow. we're playin badminton! yey!!! that is, if i wake up early. and it's frickin' hot here! wala ercon...tsss! kahit elecpan wala! have u been feeling the same way?! bored and hot? not the kind of 'hot' that ur thinking... the type of hotness that puts a big profit in meralco and big pain in our parents' pockets?!

btw, araw araw na ko natutulog ng after 3am... and it's not healthy. plus i wake up at around 10/11am. 7hrs of sleep?! insomniac ba ako?!

gudnight~

ek = exhausting kingdom...waaahhyy!

2005-04-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

went to enchanted kingdom yesterday or should i say hours ago. i was with my mom, aj my hambez and mic. yes bry, i made hatak mic just that morning. wala LANG, nag-ek LANG. muhaha! san ko naman kayo ilalagay dun?!? seriously, twasn't as fun as i expected it to be. 1, 2, 3...ANDAMING TAO!!! twas the family day of unilever that's why all the employees were there from the highest level down to the bottom level of the triangle. imagine, we were there for almost 7 hrs and we were only able to ride Anchors Away once and Rollerskates once. yun lang! fun noh?! i even felt bad since we weren't able to ride the Space Shuttle. hello?!? highlight kaya yun!!! the only good thing about the trip is that we did not spend much money since unilever gave us P1300 worth of Wizard Money. and we got to spend it on food...and food...and games for my brother (who, fortunately, won 3 stuffed toys in the 'hoopshot' game). so much for an EK weekend trip...

plus:
- super init!!!
- the food took 48yrs before twas served
- the lipton iced tea was pang-mumog!
- (i liked the selecta popsies :) )
- super init!!!
- ayaw mag-tao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- weren't able to ride log jam, rio grande, sshuttle, etc
- the service bus was slow...in all senses...

not gonna happen again~

birthday greetings!

happy happy birthday papa! (april 24)

i really hope u and mama are enjoying ur vacation here with us.

and i wish u nothing else but long life and good health. we love you!!!

may God bless you always... :)

the weekend i longed for

2005-04-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

by all means, kelangan ko talagang magkwento about our uber fun yet bitin trip in galera. for some weird reason, i THINK i'm the first one YATA to write about our trip--given the fact that i'm such a lazybum here and 'no-life' as of the moment (stress on the as of the moment part). i wanted to write something long and boring sana. as in the full details of what happened to me...us. but i guess it'll be a bore. diba? diba? kaya...

100 THINGS that made April15-17 '05 ROCK:

1. being with rr aka my galera partner / alaskador 1
2. ...bryan aka alaskador 2
3. ...eliser aka official ranter/reklamador/sleepyhead
4. ...chowlmate and greg aka uma-activity couple 1
5. ...kathy aka dakilang liar (tsk..tsk..)
6. ...angeli aka key-keeper (say it fast!) / treasurer4evr
7. ...angela and arthur aka uma-activity couple 2 / downer (nag-down for the cottage!)
8. ...karen aka 'silence-means-yosi-tayo' / ayaw ng malaking bag
9. ...ize and brone aka uma-activity couple 3 / ayaw matulog ng maaga
10. ...mara aka 'ang daming tao!'
11. ...ombie aka sumama-ka-pa-eh-natulog-at-shopping-ka-lang
12. walang tulugan from thursday to friday with matching bacon and eggs breakfast c/o tita cynthia g.
13. the uber hot and mej uncomfy rented van for P1690 only
14. kuya demi's boat (uy closeness!) na ayaw magpasakit ng pwet
15. the 3k/night cottage...F1 and F2 of Mr. Magbuhos
16. 10-peso barbecue
17. 20-peso inihaw na hotdog (overpriced yet delicious lalo na pag gutom ka...)
18. DALISAY drinking water...aahhh
19. the single and double 'miracle' bed which accomodated 9 people
20. yours ang pag-apaw ng inidoro sa F2
21. 4 for P10 cute anklets
22. yours ang pagkamahal at pagka-48 years bago dumating ng food!
23. sings..."nakarating ka na ba sa white beach resort ni magbuhos...ni magbuhos...ni magbuhos!..."
24. WHITE BEACH of course!!!
25. the henna tattoo which i never donned :(
26. cheap and cute board shorts
27. yours ang pagkakaroon ng colon cancer dahil sa INIHAW
28. ...inihaw na barbecue, inihaw na liempo, inihaw na hotdog...
29. ang hindi lang inihaw na nakain ko ay fish crackers at tocilog
30. MINDORO SLING! 4pitchers!!!
31. SUB-ZERO! lakas tama! zzzz...
32. yours ang pagka-WENGWENG ni joanne
33. ...ang pagkahulog niya sa upuan
34. ...ang pagsuka niya sa sand (sorry for the word...)
35. yours ang pagka-tulog ni eliser sa upuan with matching pictures
36. speaking of pictures...FICHUR FICHUR!!!
37. digicam girls: angeli, ize, mara and angela
38. yours ang pagto-twopiece ni...taray ng lola mo!
39. ang 'pang-momog' na smb at red horse
40. YOURS ANG PAG-IHI ng MGA TAO SA BEACH!!!
42. ...at ni ***... huli kaw!!!
43. ang pagka-wengweng til 4am
44. ang pagre-reklamo sa mindoro sling na dapat sub-zero sa BRIAN's Bar
45. ang pag-uwi ng 530am ni anne at greg dahil pupunta pa si greg sa BORA...jingle lang ang pahinga!
46. yours ang ayaw mag-bading ng galera!
47. beach volleyball worth P100?!
48. tactics para makapag-group shot!
49. ...ang paghabol ni ate na mataray sa upuang 'ninakaw' ni li! wahahaha!
50. ang pagsusunog ng lungs!
51. ang pagka-init ng araw na hindi nakakatuwa
52. ang maraming kumakagat sa beach
53. 'anjan na si GORGONILLA!'
54. ang pagbili namin ng P200 special boat ride sa 5pm trip...
55. YOURS ANG PAGKABASA NAMIN SA BOAT PAUWI!!! :-s
56. ...at ang pagdadasal ko na sana mabuhusan yung mga jologs sa harap namin!
57. ...ang pagka-walang kibo ng katabi ni karen, "hello! we're like nababasa na!"
58. to bryan: "halika, dito ka umupo!" ...yak!
59. ang pagbuhos ng tubig sa mukha ni manong...Peek-a-BOO!
60. ang extra-daliri ni manong...ANG SAMA NI RR!!!
61. ang adobo-armpit ng gurl...ANG SAMA TALAGA NI RR!!!
62. ang pagka-paranoid ko sa aking bag at money
63. yours ang pagkakakita namin sa mga 'filingerong' juniors
64. ...akala ko ba "no pets allowed" ?!?
65. ang pagkakita namin kay Mendark(?) ng Dexter's Lab aka R.S.III
66. ang pagkarindi namin sa "sir/ma'am, pa-massage na kayo"
67. ang coke ni rr sa katawan
68. the infamous 'csshhk-csshhk' of bryan
69. ang paghiga sa buhangin under the blanket of stars
70. ...na never mangyayari sa over crowded and polluted manila
71. ang pagiging 'tagaytay' ng puerto galera/mindoro
72. ang pagiging 'batangas' ng puerto galera/mindoro
73. ang pag-decipher ni kathy na Mindorinne Oriental ay INN sa Mindoro Oriental...wataw!
74. yours ang ayaw mag-suklay ni Magbuhos
75. ...ang nakaka-irita sobra ng boses ni Magbuhos
76. RR: kayo po ba ito (shows calling card)? kilala niyo si mrs. gomez? wala bang discount?
77. Magbuhos: (blank face) ngayon?!...
78. ang pagtataray ni angeli sa tindera ng bigbang...pero gusto pa rin niya ng bigbang
79. ang PAG-AACTVITIES ng mga COUPLES at biglang nawawala o nagkukulong sa cottage... hmmm...
80. the sleepless and laughtrip nights
81. ang ayaw ng malamig na aircon sa Jam Bus
82. ang pakikiligo at jebs nila bry at eliser
83. "game..1..2..3..ang daming tao!!!"
84. "guys!! pichur pichurrrrr!!"
85. "uy pa-picture naman..."
86. "take it off! take it off!"
87. ang nagdadamot na si ate merlyn at ayaw kami ipag-extend..shet mo mabaho!
88. ang "OUT OF ORDER" sign sa LAHAT ng banyo sa mga bar...andadamoooottt!!!
89. ang pagka-wengweng ko sa mindoro sling (aka mindoro's lake?! wtf?!) at sub-zero
90. ang cheapest (daw) and longest (daw) na banana boat ride
91. ang free boat ride to batangas pier and free banana boat ride pag 10pm na...wahaha!
92. ang pagka-bato/pagtunganga/pagtanga namin habang walang cottage at nag-iintay ng boat
93. ang fruit shakes ng galera -- mango, stwobewy at buko pandan
94. ang fish crackers at chicharon ng magbabalot!
95. "pa-load!!!" este... "baloottt!"
96. ang mas matagal pa sa cottage at sa bars kaysa pagbababad sa beach!
97. bondings at kulitan
98. tawanang parang binabayaran
99. asarang walang pikunan
100. close friends + galera = simple...pero rock!

~kelangang ulitin

post-script:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AJ bro! (April 19)

abadudi hambez! hemvres mko! kembebele-kekem! labshoo veyvs! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AnaBanana! (April20)

stay as hopeless romantic as you are! labo! :)

hide and seek

2005-04-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

after getting my ashushwal grades from the ateneo, we decided to watch a movie since all the people already made their plans (of staying at home or going somewhere else na). wenk! i wanted to see CLOSER but i know i could borrow the dvd naman from mic. so i suggested HIDE AND SEEK. i swear! sobrang worth it yung movie. i mean twasn't a pooper compared to other movies with misleading trailers. HIDE and SEEK's worth watching promise! fine, we watched at G1 since we were in kuripot-mode again. in fairness, the floor ain't filthy like before. problem is, parang blower yung aircon. "wala na bang ihihina pa?!?"

dakota fanning's amazing! the girl's got talent. i even heard that the part was supposed to be for a guy but when she auditioned, they changed the whole script to fit the 'daughter' part. galing galing! twas thrilling. i should know. the person beside me kept screaming everytime there's a gulat scene. btw, the person beside me's anna. hahaha! ooops! no name-dropping ba?

yun lang. watch HIDE AND SEEK. you'll like it.

NEXT ATTRACTION...for me:

= House of Wax =

= The Ring 2: Samara =

= The Wedding Date =

thumbs up~

news in bits

2005-04-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

bit1: apathy (current events toh! ibang level!)
i've been guilty of being an official bum and internet freak these past days. hey! i ain't got nothing to do. anyway, i've been blog-hopping last time when i came across entries about the pope. yup, as in the late karol wojtyla (may his soul rest in peace). hindi ko alam if it's a sign of some sort but i wasn't that affected at first. sama ko noh. then i was reading this forum in www dot something dot com and i saw a thread there about different universities. and one thing they said about ateneans is that we're apathetic to current issues. i've got nothing against other schools pero mas may pakealam naman kami sa country/world compared to others. diba? diba? anyway, yun lang.

fyi, i watched the funeral of the pope and i felt the magic. nuff said. it's between me and the pope. close kami. :) i may not have seen him personally. but i felt his presence and his undying love in me. thank you papa juan pablo ikalawa for being the genuine person we should be. RIP. but i'm happy. cos i know you're already there...UP there. :) guide me.

bit2: something new
i finally decided to change my template. i find it cute kahit inaaway ni porhed. anyway, since it's summer = new look. no logic noh!?

bit3: they're here
my grandfolks are here! and i got new slippers. thank you! hope we go to duty free :)

bit4: hatred
i'm still hating my brother :-z

bit5: yipee!
galera's not a drawing anymore. it's the truth anymore! yay!!! hahaha! still, i don't have money and i hafta beg or worse use my sacrifices ('savings'). we're 10 na and still counting...

bit6: bum
i'm still a bum. but unlike him, i'm looking. i have pangaraps you know! i need ojt na! is abscbn my destiny?! hehehe!

thought for the day

2005-04-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

"boys don't usually give LOVE...but girls do. boys give love just to get SEX while girls give sex just to get LOVE..."

haha! come to think of it, it's true! diba? diba?

boys and girls. can't live with them. can't live without them.

peace~

on the brighter 'flip'side

2005-04-05T01:43:00.001+08:00

my previous post was emotionally draining. too dark. too heavy. yet, there's still a silver lining left in the dark clouds of my life.

[saturday]

i had my first job interview last saturday for monde-nissin. the night before, i honestly had 'butterflies in my stomach' so cliche-ic but true. i didn't even get enough sleep before (and after..hehe!) my interview. i wasn't even prepared. literally. from my outfit to my answers. it all sucked. i just pray that the girl saw something in me that would convince her to call me up for an exam. pls pls pls! but i'm not expecting and i'm not really into it as well. bonus na lang kung makuha ako.

after my interview, i went to glorietta to meet bry and eliser (who, by the way, made me wait for hours. tsk tsk...joke!) anyway, we roamed around parksquare to find the perfect yet cheapest 'set' of desktop computer. and we did. and they bought it.

then i went to pldt in mandaluyong to meet my friends and my blockmates. wala lang. i saw them in business attires cos of the event. but twas nice seeing chowlmate there and angeli. plus of course my blockmates.

finally, twas mendel's debut. he held the party in his big house in this liblib area in pasig. the food was great and had few sticks of barbecue...and the buko pandan dessert. yum! i had 3-4..or 3 bottles of beer. and it made me tipsy. i'm so not a beer drinker. anything but the beer. haha!

[sunday]

my dreadful sunday. nuff said.

[monday]

had dinner with my ds peeps. twas a nice intimate dinner. missing the old days. and missing more people. haay... we ate in gilligan's! nakanam! improving! we didn't eat in kroc na. then we had dessert in max brener. well what can i say. shalan kami eh. hahaha!
(i want to post the pictures here as well as the past events of my so-called life but i don't have the means...huhuhu!)

we planned our puerto galera outing plus our batangas escapade. it's spelled f-u-n...fun! yipee!!! wish i could bring more people. hehehe! i mean in galera since we're 4...or 5. *sigh* this will not end up to be a drawing. promise!

now my problem's my ojt. hoping for an angel in disguise. meaning val. hehehe! bring me along to abscbn! pls pls pls!!! not that i'm excited to see the stars. i want to work. ulul! hahaha! of course the stars add more excitement. hehehe...

*****************************************************************

highlights:

>> my grandparents are coming to town. yipee! isteytsayd na ito! hehehe! i miss duty free. jologs ba? and i hope they'll give me something to save = kaching kaching!

>> my cousin's the valedictorian of his batch. and i helped in making the valedictory address. in a way i felt how it was to be a valedictorian. joke! how i wish! congrats nicole! fyi, he's a guy...

>> galera galera galera!!! but i'm not expecting. baka ma-jinx eh!

gudnyt~

learning to live

2005-04-05T01:43:00.000+08:00

for some weird reason, the post i made last sunday didn't appear. nonetheless, i'm still posting what should've been known by the public.

if hatred could be sold in the market, i might as well be the richest guy here. it's a known fact. i'm currently hating and cursing my brother. for many reasons. valid and fair. i never thought that i would ever feel this way. but i do now. i never wished for someone to die. but i do now. i never thought i'd be this bad. but i am now. sue me for being mean but this is how i really feel.

i even made a special prayer for him which goes...

dear lord,
please take him with you.
please take him where he won't hurt himself.
and where he won't hurt us.
please forgive me for being bad.
but i know that he'll be better off with You.
i'm sorry for the things i've said.
i kept my patience for so long.
i tried to avoid him.
but he sure knows how to get to my nerves.
and i hate him for that.
i hate him for all the reasons.
sometimes i wish he didn't exist.
or maybe i don't exist.
maybe i won't be committing any crime against you.
maybe i won't be feeling hatred.
i'm sorry.
make this feeling go away.
or make him go away.
i'm sorry.

i know it sounds bothering. he's not a drunkard. nor a drug addict. he just moves in hateful ways. all because of the computer. and special mention to his 'uber hot' girlfriend. i'd rather be single and happy. pisss... just because of a computer. i sound immature for stooping down to his level. but as i've said. i've had enough. i get hurt too. whatever it is, i know some people or someone understands me... *you know who you are*

i wanted to tell the whole shallow story. but i opt to remain silent. mapapagod lang ako...

yet, i'm learning to live. for my parents and for those who truly love me. *tear* hehehe.. seriously. i labshoo too.

life and wishes

2005-04-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

i'm bored das why i'm survey-ing na lang...
thanks to kars for the survey!

( ) snuck out of the house.
(x) gotten lost in your city.
( ) seen a shooting star.
( ) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery --> pwede ba circumcision?! is that considered 'serious'?! hehe!
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas. --> boxers actually...
(x) kissed a stranger. --> beso lang
( ) hugged a stranger.
(x) been in a fist fight. --> with my brother...tan-tantantan (rocky theme!)
( ) been arrested --> heehee! you're so 'sneaky'...!
( ) done drugs. --> whoa!
(x) had alcohol
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator --> "next time wag niyo nang gagawin 'to ah!"
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love --> sings..."it must've been love, but it's over now..."
(x) been close to love.
(x) been to a casino. --> word is "been" not "played" :)
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
(x) been high
( ) skinny-dipped.
(x) skipped school --> lazybum!
( ) flashed someone.
( ) saw a therapist. --> you mean nakita ko?!
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox.
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex..
(x) kissed a member of the same sex --> my dad, diba?!
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan --> japan, japan sagot sa kahirapan...
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped --> "tell me where it hurts..."
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn`t have them back.
(x) stolen something from your job (school)
( ) gone on a blind date...
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher.
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die.
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
( ) Driven over 400 miles in one day --> fyi, i dunno how to drive...
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been on a plane --> LOSER!
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi --> yuck! yuck! yuck!
( ) Been snowboarding
( ) Met someone in person from the internet --> i know someone who's fond of this...stooopid!!!
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
( ) graduated college --> hopefully!
( ) done hard drugs. --> rak on!!!
(x) tried killing yourself --> i tried to hold my breath. it turns out no one ever died of holding their breath...mwahaha!
( ) fired a gun --> anong 'gun'?! joke!
(x) purposely hurt yourself.
(x) taken painkillers --> mefenamic is vitamins...
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

my life's a bore...and then you die. haha!

=====segue=====

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY APRIL ZOE! :)

labshoo and mishu!!!

==============

i'm keeping my fingers crossed again for something...err...some things pala. yeah yeah! one of them's the galera thingy. sana lang matuloy na. in li's words, "sana hindi lang isang drawing!" i promise to add 'color' and 'shading' to this one. by hook or by book...cook...look?! ah tever! i really want to go!!!

plus...

wishlist:
** beach! beach! beach!
** streetdancing workshop (in abs!)
** OJT somewhere nice! na mukhang malabo na...
** new pair of slippers
** new phone (?)
** M-O-N-E-Y

have to go na~

loving limewire

2005-03-29T02:11:00.000+08:00

i never thought downloading mp3s would be fun. yay! i love limewire...and still loving it. di pa ko kontento, i'm still downloading songs right now. thanks chowlmate! clicking's been fun! hehehe!

i love MYMP!!! but i won't buy their album cos it's only a click away. hah! :) finally i found the songs i've been looking for.

love this song~

Tell Me Where It Hurts
by M.Y.M.P.

Why is that sad look in your eyes
Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!
Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

CHORUS:
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
(Give me a chance)
To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

Chorus
(Instrumental)

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

CHORUS:
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

a long yesterday

2005-03-25T20:46:00.001+08:00

intro: tang-ina yung kapatid ko. sobrang laking tang-ina ng mga kapatid ko...

excuse my french.

i'm not in the mood to write now.

angst. hatred. people's stupidity. bobo-ness. tanga-ness. black sheep.

fuck!

next time~

disease called boredom

2005-03-25T20:46:00.000+08:00

i haven't been enjoying my break lately. i still don't have any plans. as in plans for everything -- outing, gimiks, practicum, etc. haaay! oh well, these things need not be planned naman. maybe i should learn to be spontaneous (wayop! as if! hehehe!)

after my last entry, i have been a total bum. yeah, of course i do go out but i don't "go out" as in partey all-night. wenk noh?!

hip-hop-hoorays:
+ was able to get bioman vcds!
+ made tambay in smb last tuesday wid rr
+ WE PLAYED VOLLEYBALL again! and i'm loving it more and more! :)
+ never thought that my holy thursday would be a time to reminisce our childhood days (shout out to the moonwalkers! labshoo!)
--> we watched a couple of dvds (white chicks and 'my crazy love')
--> and marathoned my bioman vcd (actually 2-3 discs lang)
--> looked back on our grade school mems *tear*
+ thank God for gilmore girls and 7th heaven
+ trey's blasphemous joke..."is it i? is it i?"

boo-boos:
- i still couldn't change my template!!! :-s
- i'm craving for a slice of mocha roll
- i'm itching to go to the beach...or wherever...
- moolah's running out
- been a bad boy this holy week...sorry :(
- couldn't decide if i'll buy a...heehee!
- ...and many more!

i thought vacation would be fun. :( calling out to my friends, we need to go out! kathy, let's partey!!! to chowl and li, we gotta plan for our escapade. dapat matuloy na talaga 'to!!! kahit tatlo lang tayo...hahaha! joke!

my brother's pissing me again (in a cute way)...btw, i'm talking about aj, fyi. *hemvres!*

gotta pray~

reasons to smile

2005-03-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

[this sem's through!]

yeay! i'm officially on vacae! as in no more papers, tests and teachers. hiphophooray! i rushed my last econ paper 10am of friday and passed it at 1130am. yeay!!! wala na kong masabi cos i'm happy that 3rd year's finally over. only one more year...hopefully my last year as a student. haaayyy... i won't spoil my break. i'll be worrying by may na lang. :)

[my merienda party]

i didn't have that much money. but DS' has been pressuring me for quite some time now. haha! joke lang friends. labshoo all! i really wanted it too. oo nga naman, i've been existing for 21 years and i haven't even thrown a party. hinay-hinay lang friends. merienda now and buffet in the future! wahahaha!

i had uber fun with you guys. thanks for buying all my antics and ka-cornyhan! :) twas truly a memorable one. and i hope you liked my "three bears" song-and-dance number ala-song hye kyo! wahahaha!

~xiexie's~
chowlmate and kathy: for coming tho u didn't have exams na..
nitz and val: for the uber delicious choco cake
edel and anna: for being there despite the exams and all
miko and gerard: my ever-loving roommates...muhaha! :)
peter and rahel: for dropping by and delaying your squicky! joke joke! peace!!!
toyang's: for the pancit malabon
grill queen: for the superb barbecues
7-eleven: for the pepsi, plates, forks, cups, trashbags
8Hburgundy: for the ambiance and airconditioning
parents: for raising me well
friends: for putting up to me despite my shortcomings
enemies: for making me a stronger person
mentors: for all the unforgettable lessons in life
...and of course, GOD almighty! :)

to my other folks, i'm sorry you weren't able to come. there's always a next time. again, after my 21st bday so mga..21 plus 21 is...umm..forty-something..umm..42nd birthday!!! :) wahahaha!

i enjoyed. sobra. pictures...to follow! :)

[v-o-l-l-e-y-b-a-l-l!!!]

it feels good to be back. i mean playing volleyball. we were able to play volleyball once again. ENP ROCKS! we made lampaso the kalaban again. and we were late...as always. but you should thank us for training you. hmph! feeling nampootah! haha!

tho my sexybody's aching right now, i don't mind. i'm looking forward for the upcoming games. we surely know how to play the game. mind you, we haven't been playing for the longest time. yet...voila! we're still champs. hehe! it runs in the barkada. it's in the enp-blood na talaga, i guess. i'm just bilib with you guys!

AZA AZA FIGHTING! :) (oopsy! you wouldn't understand this...calling all my 'korean' friends...wahahaha!)

["FRIEND"]

friend! i'm giving you a shout-out! hear me! hear me! i'm happy for you! i hope you learned from the best. *ehem hehem* you know who you are...

despite all the reasons to smile, there will always be one panira. i'm using this uber bulok computer and i'm sooper pissed na. i'm suffering while he's having stoopid fun with his stoopid game. it's just plain stoopid. sobrang stoopid talaga. shet mo mabaho!!!

still, i'm keeping the smiles~

both sides of the coin

2005-03-17T03:24:00.000+08:00

+ i don't have tests anymore
- i still need to finish my 30pg journal and synthesis paper

+ it's officially summer vacae
- again, i still have a paper...AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO FUEGO!!! :-s

+ i'm done with my philo orals
- i blew it again...

+ it's summer!
- i have no plans?!

+ i'm loving tv series marathon
- there's still no Charmed for me...*sigh*

+ i'm becoming este loving 'koreans'
- they think it's weird...duh!

+ i have free internet
- umm...it's already 320am?! never heard of insomnia?!

+ we're playing volleyball! yay!!!
- not in a nice place and with nice people...ang sama mo!!!

+ hopefully i'll work in SGV
- P100/day?!? zzzzz....*thinking*

+ they're planning for Puerto Galera
- i don't have money...as usual :(

more to come~

on a pedestal

2005-03-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

it's belated abadudi for me. *sigh* i ran into other bloggers' lives and saw greetings that melted my heart. thank you thank you! of course, i don't have to put the text messages here. haha!

now i'm worrying about finals. i'm only taking two exams. thanks to optional exams, i don't have to stress myself again with my other subjects. but i'm dissatisfied/discontented/dismayed/di-tulak/di-buhat/di-mitro/di-buhos/...haha joke! but seriously i'm not happy with my grades. tho i deserve them.

talk about vacation mode. i'm thinking of the gimiks now and not my history finals and my philo orals. gottaH8school! arrrrggghh! the hell. i even have a short vacation...assumming! as if may ojt na ko!

btw, here it is:

"it was fun.. all my friends were there.. i need not put everything here, but the pictures (coming in the next coupla days) will surely talk about the night we had in the barkada's tambayan *sniff, sniff* (god i miss those days) right?! *wink wink*"

- manok chicken

"haberday chowl!.. naks naman, bente-uno na sya! hindi talaga 'ko papayag na walang partÉ nito! wahaha :D bawal manguripot, chowlmate!!! haylabshu.."

- chowlmate

".. life wouldn't be as sweet without him.. he stuck around for the good and not-so-good times.. he's not just a space-filler, he makes his presence known by his funny antics and witty remarks.. a free spirited person, he also knows how to sit down and take things seriously.. miss you and love you to the moon and back.."
- birthday blush

"thank you for all the fun moments you shared with me and the rest of the DS.. life was certainly jollier with you around.. don't ever change that wacky personality of yours.. 'di na makukumpleto ang Tigbak Authority ng kada pagwala ka.. ahlabshu!"

- queen bitch of the universe

"nais kong batiin si.. ng isang maligayang, maligayang kaarawan!!!.. kelan ang inuman?! have a nice burday... ;-P"

- psyched shopaholic

for barag: i didn't include yours here...for now. but i'll be copying and commenting on them when we're free! weeee! :)

belated~

ish mah burday

2005-03-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

hindi pwedeng di ako mag-blog...

first of all i would like to greet myself a very...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

if not for me, this day would still be possible. haha!

i still have a hangover from last night. yeah, hangover. two things. one from el hombre, sanmig strong ice, cuervo (thanks japs!). next, hangover from my barkada...thanks ENP your the best! special mention to jd, ayza and heidi. no need for the details. march12 was spelled f-u-n. thank you for making salubong (ang arte!) my birthday. and yeah, pix to follow...

though we started late (ehem! kasi yung iba inuna pa ang showbiz career...tsk tsk. others went to this more sosyal party..ouch! and someone didn't go! hmph!)...the looonngg wait was worth it. thank you guys. i enjoyed every minute of laugh trips and panlalait... hahaha! mwah mga pare at mare!

DS! i'm keeping my fingers crossed for friday, march 18.
chowlmate! i can't wait for fuego saburday! yay! :)

lastly, thank you for all your greetings. no need to mention names. i kept a list in my heart na...drama, shet! :)

almost 5am

2005-03-10T04:41:00.000+08:00

...and i'm still posting.

almost done reviewing for my devecon exam. lord, help me get through all these exams. it's almost 5am and i gotta wake up at 8 to review again. my memory's fluctuating kasi. tsk tsk.

i haven't studied for natural resources. the heck. no matter how i..we..try, germelino's still unpredictable. weird teacher. literally.

i'm planning of getting some sleep later around 6pm. i need a break...again. but i'm thinking of my birthday celebration na. sorry guys, no moolah for a big one. besides, i want it intimate.

i'm pressured. but i know i'm not obliged.

btw, i read a friend's blog. apparently, she's inluv. and i'm not. so? i just find it amazing how sweetness flows out a guy's mind. i know i have that talent, too. as i've said, ms.right's still non-existent as of the moment.

i have to go na. i gotta cram more...*sigh* na may kasamang *yawn*

how does it feel to fall in love...again? hmmm...~

i had it coming

2005-03-09T13:31:00.000+08:00

uber sorry for those who expected for the havaianas. you're not the only one. apparently, a big problem occurred. and obviously it won't push through. we're talking legalities here. tsk tsk. mahirap na.

oh well, there's always U, celio, chocolate, tabu, etc. let's just settle for the expensive price. better yet, settle with islander or beachwalk or something. haaaay...

wasted my weekend for nothing. waaahhh! i should've studied na lang. yeah right.

speaking of studies, i can't seem to finish everything i'm doing for school. and i'm running out of energy. vacation mode here..

again...uber sorry friends. i was just told. i know you don't love me less..

still want a new pair of slippers~

checklist

2005-03-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

i barely have 2 more weeks of school then i'm out! yay! but vacation seems so near...yet so far. andami pa kasi requirements that should be finished. haaayyy! anyway, i'm not looking forward in seeing my grades. it's like what i've learned in economics...diminishing ek-ek. the later the test, the lower i get. i think my head's becoming weak...er. :( i've been owning time since i resided in burg. no discipline at all. *sigh* gotta change my attitude. noh?! but i'm having fun tho...heeh!

before fuego and all, and hopefully summer practicum, the list goes on...

__ devecon long test (gotta read! have to read! MUST read!)
__ econ natl resources (i have no idea!)
__ history finals (read...read...read...again?!)
__ philo orals (surprise! surprise! i'm getting a C...sana C+/B man lang...)
__ econ natl resources journal and paper (when will this end?)
__ buy board shorts (wala akong pam-beach...)
__ cram/slack-off
__ fix summer internship (sgv pls pls!)
__ worry about econmet
__ worry more...plus pray!
__ celebrate! for my birthday?! umm...err...
__ (others)

oh noo! i've been talking about fuego nanaman! baka ma-jinx!!! we might end up in burg 4th floor. noooo!

i hope i can throw a party. i hope someone catches it. ang corny...

it's hard being a businessman/salesman...tsk tsk...

i'm splurging. the idea of it, that is. heehee hoohoo! :)

couch patatas

2005-03-05T00:54:00.000+08:00

[nip/tuck]

i've been crazy for nip/tuck for the past week. we've been marathon-ing season 1 since monday. we're suppose to finish it na but we had no time since i tried to become such a diligent student. yak! anyway, i can't wait for season 2 pirated dvd...yeba! but season 2 already ended in etc and i think christian troy died...tsk tsk...karma! hahaha! carver killed troy!?! or maybe not...we couldn't find any spoilers in the net. and season 3 airs this june2005. it sux noh?!

i just hope miko gets enlightened more by this and finally decides to become a plastic surgeon! you're gonna have a lot of patients. believe me! ...count me in! i want a bigger ass! :) and a few millimeters less for my ears.

[koreanovela phenomena]

save the last dance for me. you gotta love sandy ji. sandy who? never mind. i couldn't last a day without watching this watchamacalit. i mean, the story's kinda cliche-ic pero i love it's pace -- very fast and bores me less. daya nga lang cos there's no pirated vcds of this pa. to think that 'lovers in paris' is already out in dvd (pirated version...wehehe!) nyorx!

full house. this jennie girl can really attract viewers. from being the sickly, shy type girl to a sassy chick...galing! badtrip nga lang cos it airs simultaneously with save the last dance. tsk tsk. anyway, it's out on pirated version. but i'm not planning to buy one. sayang sa pera. hehe! but i'll think again.

stairway to heaven. i got hooked with this since day something. not day1. ang oa naman. but i likeD the story. emphasis on the '-ed'. i got bored with their i-dont-want-anyone-to-get-hurt scheme. blek! that's an old song na. haha! old song as in lumang tugtugin! hahaha! why don't you just admit it kasiii!!! i'm loving save the last dance more na.

so much for jologs-ness and gay-ness...i better watch cable more often na siguro... not! :)

weirdness

2005-03-02T14:22:00.000+08:00

he was with celebrities in a somewhat rollercoaster ride (which looked more like the mrt) when it stopped along 'edsa'. all the people started complaining and asking for refunds and a free ride instead. as they were going back for the ride, few goon-like men shouted, "ayun sila! dali barilin mo na!" then they all tried to escape the bad guys.

he was then running endlessly looking for a sanctuary. he had nowhere to go. then he found this "tent" where he tried to hide. he slid into the small cabinet wherein he saw another man hiding. but the other stupid guy made it obvious that they were inside.

he jumped out of the small opening (like a window) from the "tent". he ran while he tried to avoid the bullets.

there was a commemoration or something that was happening in the 'plaza'. he thought he saw cory aquino (seriously!) he made dapa so the goons wouldn't be able to see him.

BOOM! a bomb exploded...

he felt the pain slowly killing him...

the last thing he saw was a star in the sky...

slowly shattering to dust...

then i woke up~

title-less

2005-02-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

pasensya na i couldn't think of a title for this entry. actually i couldn't think of what to write now. i was about to sleep na, literally. but then i got up, and went to the computer! woot! adik! i was supposed to check sumting in MyDocuments but i ended up in blogger.com

and since i'm here..."can i just share?!"...

[almost fainted]

i haven't been attending my sooper-mega-exciting-entertaining-fun economics class (economics of natural resources and the environment...laban ka?!) for two weeks (because of valid reasons) yata which gives me 2 cuts. but he's not checking attendance..so lucky me! anyway, i decided to go last thurs, finally. and to my surprise, i saw my classmates with bluebooks on their desks plus testpapers with matching graphs in it. umangat ang dugo ko hanggang ulo. swear! pinagpawisan ng malamig yung kili-kili ko! kadiri but true. i rushed outside quickly and called my blockmate.

me: (tut-tut-tut-tut-tut...*rriiiinnngg!*) pao!? bakit may test?! asan kayo?!
pao: ay sorry nawalan ng batt phone ko. FREE CUT tayo. may test ang seniors...

so there. twas the seniors having their final exams. and it had no space for us, undergrads. nakakaasar lang cos before going to school, i was watching american idol. i should've watched na lang! istorbo talaga...hustle! este hassle!!! to add, i was waiting for hours for that class. sana i went to glorietta na lang with val and watched a movie or sumthing instead... :s

[hang-out lang]

hang-out-lang...kulit! spent the night at mic's last friday. and hung out with her plus eliser, bryan, jd...umm..plus ivy, ate mar and annaveil. yun lang...

[go pirates ish ur burday!]

i decided to go to mahkashishwer cos i was supposed to buy a cheap case for my phone. it turns out P70 lang ang cheapest. i couldn't get over the 35-peso transparent case we bought in baclaran so i didn't buy the case. so i decided to roam around (kahit na twas like scary talaga en all...JOKE! hahaha!) and voila i found the factory of pirated dvds! hahaha! but seriously you'll be amazed of how people try to pirate dvds. amazing talaga. i bought niptuck season1 for miko and buffy season7 for val. i was looking for other tv series but they didn't have any that would interest me -- charmed! :( anyhoo, i only had P500 left.

then i went to glorietta to buy my stuff...

i even got scared cos i was just holding the pirated dvds inside the white-palengke-ish-style plastic. so i just entered sooper confident. luckily the guards didn't notice. but if they did, maybe twasn't illegal pa to bring it inside the malls since they are also selling pirated shit. imagine from 2pm to 430pm i was circling glorietta, sm and landmark alone. i had to meet rr kasi since he wanted me to go with him to buy a new phone...again. btw, i'm going back to mahkahshishwer cos he's buying his fone there. anyhoo, i bought a new pair of slippers for myself! may pampasok na'ko! then we went back to mcs...

[condolence]

NANI, wherever you are...you will always be remembered...
kahit na gusto mo akong lapain kapag nakikita mo ako, i still love you...
kahit na parang naglalaway ka pag nakikita mo ang mabuto kong katawan, mahal kita...
i will forever remember your chicken-like (manok-manok) eyes and big, hairy body...
you will always be the cute litol puppy we once knew (since grade7)...

btw, NANI is tracy's dog... :,(

[change of heart]

i had the chance to watch change of heart in ETC last time. i don't usually watch it cos i don't know what time it's aired. anyway, i got amazed by how these people try to break a relationship. swear! i mean if i was in the guy's position i would really get pissed...big time!

the episode i watched was about aiel (pronounced as a-yel) and heather. i think their dilemma is that heather was going to study in the west coast while aiel will still stay in the east. you should've seen how heather reacted everytime aiel compliments his date -- she hit him for 3times. likewise, aiel's face obviously showed how pissed he was seeing heather's date. in the end, they chose "stay together" ... awww!!!

gotta watch 'change of heart' more often...

[fuego no more?!]

we planned to join ajmazing race in punta fuego on march 19. libre eh! i know i still have an optional final exam for ecostat on that day but i assumed that i will be able to retain my B-standing. unfortunately, it didn't go my way. i got 39/80 in the 2nd exam. i suck in numbers talaga!!! but supershiel curved the grades daw so i guess i'm still in B or C+. now i'm thinking of taking the final test. and i'm still weighing my options...heeelllppp!!! fuego or grade?!

this is getting kinda long na and boring. actually it is long and boring...haha! still have classes tomorrow...

gudnyt~

dissatisfied

2005-02-25T02:45:00.000+08:00

i got this from manok chicken...

============================

[are you happy?]

rate yourself from 1-7, 7 being ABSOLUTELY TRUE, 4 being MODERATELY TRUE and 1 being NOT AT ALL TRUE.

1. in most ways, my life is close to my ideal
2. the conditions of my life are excellent
3. i am satisfied with my life
4. so far i have gotten the important things i want in life
5. if i could live my life over, i would change almost nothing

scoring:
31 - 35 extremely satisfied with your life
26 - 30 very satisfied
21 - 25 slightly satisfied
20 neutral
15 - 19 slightly dissatisfied
10 -14 dissatisfied
5 - 9 extremely dissatisfied

============================

i actually scored 12 or 13 i think. i'm feeling kinda nega these past few days. i don't know why so don't ask. it's like a seasonal thing. bad thing is, it's march na. yeah, it's my birthmonth. by now i should be getting excited -- parties, dinners, get2geders, vacation...summer! but noo!

i'm dissatisfied nga. and a good friend suggested that i follow or at least try some of the pointers for having a more satisfying life. try ko nga...

a few steps to a more satisfying life

count your blessings. well i do. and i'm grateful for every blessing He bestows upon me. yun nga lang, there are times when i neglect even the smallest of things. tsk tsk! it says here that we should avoid counting our misfortunes. well, it's in our nature na. we easily forget the happy memories and think more of the shitty ones.

practice acts of kindness. umm...like how? giving alms? kidding! okay so i missed one...

savor life's joys. ooohh! happy thoughts. but i don't know if i can still remember all. like i what i've said, it's hard. happy moments seem to have expiration dates, noh?!

learn to forgive. i already did. but i haven't learned how to forget. that's kinda hard ata...

invest time and energy with friends and family. if investing time with friends would make me rich...then call me millionaire! but with family...umm..guilty! i'm sorry :,(

take care of your body. hahahahaha! have you seen me? hey! i may be thin but i'm 'healthy'...talaga lang ha?!

(epal lang, bryan here!!!)

anything goes

2005-02-24T01:19:00.000+08:00

i was expecting a mediocre grade for my philo paper cos twas really basura. well my wish was granted. i should've given more effort and seriousness to that crap...
i have been cutting my history class for not-so-good reasons, i mean reason -- nakakatamad. and it's really not good
i'm cramming again. what's new?!
i'm not absorbing agriculture, trade, industry, yada-yada (heeeellllpppp!)
i hate cramming but i can't get it out of my system. to add: i slack-off / bum...
i want to play volleyball again :,(
i want to go to the mall
beach! beach! beach! ... with my friends of course!

==> i kinda miss having private entries...cos there are things not all people should read *sigh* <==

need to read, need to study~

saturday is parte`

2005-02-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

thank god it's sabado talaga! noo! not my former fave show. i've been loving my saburdays since..umm..birth? haha! ooh! before the kwenow i hafta make a greeting first...

happy birthday 21st bday rr!

like what i've said, me voici... meaning "narito ako"... i'll always be here for you friend! and i wish that you find the perfect, i mean, right gurl for you. ikaw naman kasi... tsk tsk! joke! but if u need a deaf ear, i'll be more than willing to listen... ;)

gist lang, we had an uber fun night at rr's. first of all, we were complete! yeay! with macypon, ize and jd, too! twas a really fun night. i hope they had fun cos i surely did. the food was really great as in sarap! too bad i was on a diet. we had a few bottles of sun mig light (joke lang, r!) plus our new favorite... gsm blue (anne sarap, anne swabe, anne init, anne...curtis!) cheers to tae for putting up with me. sa uulitin! and how can i forget the party poofer-- PS2! shiyet! (joke ulit!) i'm just bitter cos i sucked in beach volley! ;)

woke up today at around 2pm. and my muscles are in pain. (last week my stomach was, now muscles, what's next? boohoo!) and i haven't studied for my tests. haaayyy! nothing new, noh?!

actually i'm not in the mood now... gotta hear mass pa...

so bye~

"benchmark"

2005-02-18T17:51:00.000+08:00

as promised, i've posted some stolen shots from let the love begin. btw, is this illegal? who cares! even the people there didn't. hehehe!

obviously, they all ended up together. only a bimbo wouldn't figure this out. :)

and as a friend would always say, "benchmark ka talaga ng ka-jologan! iba ka!" oh well at least i'm known for something...though not something i should be proud of. on second thought, i think i should be...tever...

addiction

2005-02-18T10:14:00.000+08:00

i never thought that blogging could be an addiction. i mean i have so many things to finish yet blogging tops my priorities. example, i didn't go to econ class (again!) yesterday cos i wanted to study for my stat exam. it turns out, i slacked-off and looked for music codes instead. hayayay! and last nyt, i wanted to post something but i just couldn't cos twas so late. i had to control myself. hahah! and now, i'm eating up my time for posting instead of taking a bath and rushing to school for my history class. *sigh* this is such/ain't a wonderful feeling... :)

inx's: i gotta post what happened to me the past few days...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[movie day]

last tues, after class, i went back to the condo. as usual, i bummed. but something productive happened...we watched a movie! i brought dvds kasi so we kinda wanted to loosen up for a while. we watched WIN DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON. yeah, twas on the 'teenybopper' level again. so?! and obviously, twas a thumbs up! for me. i got sucked up with the line, "you have six smiles...and one is when you think about your friends.." never thought people could read smiles.

to my friends, how many smiles do i have?!?

so twas late in the evening when i surprisingly n shockingly had a phone call from a 'lost' friend -- peter. he asked if i wanted to watch a movie with them. i was hesitant at first but when he said, "napanood mo na ba yung Let the Love?! watch tayo!" without thinking twice, i changed and went down. mind you! we watched in Eastwood and twas my first time. jologs na jologs! twas my first time in istmud and the first movie i saw there was Let the Love Begin...tsk tsk! kakaiba! but i didn't find my P120 movie worth it. first of all it's tagalog. second of all twas tagalog. on the contrary, i enjoyed. and we watched the last screening of the film so we were like barely 10 inside the cinema. btw, i was a third wheel that night. i was with peter n rachel. and i can't seem to figure out their real score.

and we got some screenshots!!! which i will post tonight :)

tuesday~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[gotta hate jack black]

sorry to all jack black fans but i really can' t stand him. but in total fairness, i liked him in shark tale wherein he never appeared on the screen as himself. i dunno but i really hate his antics. i don't find it humorous. maybe some. but in totality, a big 'no!' but what triggered it more was when i saw the movie School of Rock where he played a rockstar-wannabe who accidently became a substitute teacher for 5th graders.

sorry to be rude but i really didn't find any lesson in the movie. i can't imagine my children ending up in a band show. hello?! but if j.black's intention was to annoy the viewers with his 'very funny' antics, well then congratulations.

fyi, i don't have any intention hurting any of his fan who comes across this entry...otei?!

wednesday~

is it that obvious?

2005-02-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

hearts day...then?

2005-02-14T19:21:00.000+08:00

though it's such a sucky day for single people like me...happy valentines! :) then again, it's really not that sucky especially if you're single yet happy...like me! honestly, i am. yun nga lang, i'm not that thrilled compared to most people -- flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, yada-yada... the only reason why 'hallmark' is still earning.

such a normal day for me. but not that normal seeing people bringing roses en all. hey! i did have one. but not really a rose...not really a flower...just a free plant from the school's landscape. hah! i was asked to help a friend's gimik. we gave this 'flower' to their teacher. just a few minutes of shame actually...

omg! our histo testpaper was returned this morning. i could really feel my stomach murmuring again. nope, i wasn't hungry. i was scared. fortunately (thank you lord!!!), no cheating for me. just a note saying "please address the question..." i should've approached her and said, "i did! but the question of the previous class?!" haha joke! that would mean suicide!

my yesterdays: after going to the mall wid trey, i had mass wid a childhood friend again -- mic! mishu bitch! after a looonngg time, she realized she had a home in pque. hahaha! we had mass and i had 2 orders of kwek-kwek and some fishballs after. yum! we sorta didn't hear mass cos we were chatting most of the time (during homily that is...sorry po!) you can't blame me. i missed my friend...hehe! and speaking of friends, japs finally approached me for her problem. as usual... but i wasn't able to talk to her for some reason. next time, sis! promise!

anyway, i'm hungree na~

loving my saturdays

2005-02-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

hobbit's note: p*tang*na!!! i have to do this entry all over again. the explorer had an illegal operation right when i was about to press 'publish post' ... >:s

*********************

at last i feel sorta,kinda fine now. i haven't been experiencing spasms (or whatever you call it) since this morning. maybe i just got too excited of going to the mall. fyi, muscle spasms daw have no evident cause. usually, it's all psychological. i therefore conclude that being excited prevented the pain from coming back. naknam! angaling ko talaga! i have been wanting to buy a new pair of jeans. noo! wala akong pera! i just realized that i'm running out of pants. and most of the time, i have been borrowing my bro's (who restlessly rants about dakilang borrowers...me!)

i woke up several minutes (early enough to take a bath and fix myself up) before my 9am ecostat class. but having the '8H syndrome' aka not-going-to-class-early/on-time, i left the condo at 945am. voila! i was late...obviously. who cares? i even arrived earlier than 3 of my classmates. supershiel didn't mind anyway. and again, twas a long..boring class.

no hitch...no commute-partner...special tricycle trips...lrt2...mrt...waste of money and effort :( ...3-peso doughnuts...longanissa surprise...vanilla scent (yuck!)...jeepney rides...

glorietta! twas full of tae. is it me or is glorietta now a crowded and boring place? the formerly 'place-to-be' is not another 'used-to-be'. tsk tsk. labo. so we just went to SM! jologs noh?! but they have nice pants at a very affordable price ;) we searched for 3hrs til she (btw i was wid tracy...woot!) found her corduroys and i had my sandblasted jeans. we had them altered. we waited for it while we ate in world chicken (yum!). then it was already 9pm. we had to go home na.

vroooom went the shuttle~

sh*t! sick again...

2005-02-12T01:02:00.000+08:00

my stomach has been killing me for several days. it started last sunday, i guess. and 'til now, i can still feel the pain. i have been missing class for days. well it's a good thing since i've been bumming for days again. luv2bum! i went to ust hospital last wednesday with my mom. and i was referred to a certain dr. melchor chan by my dra. quesada. then one of mama ida's colleagues said, "naku, ire-rectal ka siguro. ang sakit pa naman nun!" thanks ha! (btw, i guess
you're wondering who these people are. don't mind them. i just hafta put them for my story...hah!)

fortunately, i was only asked to lie down while he pressed my tummy. it was not appendicitis. THANK GOD! i didn't want any surgical operation wid my tummy. nooo! but he advised me to have an ultrasound. i'm having a baby!?! he wants to be sure that there aren't any 'stones' in my tummy. his suspicion was that it was only a muscle spasm caused by pressure or stress. huwaahhh?! i'm stressed?! hahaha! maybe of being a lazy ass. on the contrary, mom's suspicion was that i have alagas in there. hell-o?!?

funny pala. the doctor asked me, "do you $^^0*3?" of course i said NO! i might give my mom a sudden attack. oa! but seriously it wasn't the right time to tell. hehehe...

now, i'm still enduring the little pain. i still can't determine the cause. the ultrasound's too much for a simple case like mine. i'll observe what'll happen to me first. and pray of course.

zui peng you

2005-02-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

today is the 8th of february...

feliz cumpleaños, besbuddy!!!

thank you for being the brother God forgot to give me...

... for being the friend who taught me how dangerous pride is

... for being the worst enemy who brought out the better person in me

... for listening to every word i never uttered

and thank you for hating me for who i am rather than accepting who i am not...

mahirap maghanap ng kaibigang ganito...salamat!

be happy! you deserve it... :)

looking back

2005-02-07T19:22:00.000+08:00

message to a friend...

it's sad how we never can bring things back the way it was. the simple things. the old times. the used-to-be's. no matter how hard we try or how bad we want it, it's just the way life goes. worse, the roads you travel diverge and you just can’t go the same way. and all we could do is wait. wait if the roads would eventually meet at some point or another. but if they don’t, then we’ll just have to continue waiting...

quoted: things pass and the best we can do is to let them really go away…
closing cycles. not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. stop being who you were, and change into who you are...
-taken from p.coelho’s ‘closing cycles’…from kars’ blog…from my links…hehe! tnx sis!)

random thoughts

2005-02-07T16:31:00.000+08:00

thank god for president's day

yup! no classes for ateneans today. woohoo! then again, i realized how boring it is to stay at home, watch tv, watch tv and watch tv. plus a little of internet...and blogging. not that fulfilling compared to a day full of 'nagging' groupmates, boring teachers and out-of-this-world lessons. sounds stressful but not really. sometimes i think that going home isn't such a good idea for me. i always end up beating up my brothers and being in my unky mood. i'm such a bad brother. tsk tsk! thank god for mom, too! luv you so much! ur d only reason i still love this home.

shit...i feel so guilty. but you can't blame me. this is just the way i show them how much i miss them. yeah right... who am i fooling...

********************

parte` on a saburday

saturday was dinner for ds. just like the old times. so much for the old times. we ate in kroc again. had sisig again. had some kj people leave early again. (tsk tsk! kj kayo! haha jk!) and had the after-the-dinner-coffee again. *sigh* despite the agains i had a wonderful night with my friends. twas the first time we've been complete (of course minus chen and zoe) after so many years (oa!)

it was mtb episode for us since chowlmate brought along scotch brite. thumbs up chowl! i'm so happy for you. finally you're inluv again. which brings me to the question, "how about me? when's my time?" haha...not expecting at all. i'm happy with my life now. sure it'll be nice to be happier but as i've said...i'm perfectly fine...

then there were 5...

kathy was itching for ponti.

i was anxious of how to get home. but being such a great friend, i sympathized with her lovelife rants.

but li was an independent soul. she owned time during that night. unfortunately, we were cinderellas waiting for the strike of midnight.

anne and greggy were...inluv. that's it. hehe...

because of high-class social butterflies and "available chix", starbucks and seattle's were spaceless. anne suggested that we bum in max brener. yes it was our first time there. as we entered the potato corner-scented cafe, we were approached by max brener's bald disciples. funny how hairstyle becomes a uniform. as baldguy nikko gave the menu, the only thing that entered my mind was "ubusan ng pera..." we shared for an order of a big serving of chocolate mousse with apple cinnamons (yata) and almond (ek-ek); and banana fritters (which were actually good). fyi, the banana fritters were the sosyal term for turon with chocolate syrup.

kisses..bye-byes..gudnyts...

getting hooked with this

2005-02-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

i'm getting the hang of this. non-sense quizzes. name generators. etcetera. i'm just bored right now. and sleepy. it seems that there's an epidemic here in 8H.

we can't sleep. tsk tsk... free eyebags! :p woohoo! caffeine's not cooperating. my eyes are shutting and fingers getting weak. must turn this off.

mind you, i'm not done yet with the name generator thingy. porn star name. penis name. coming next!

woot!~

stoopid tests dot com

2005-02-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

[on eyes]

In your eyes, people see shards of ice everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing away people that love you and truely care for you! You want to be able to reach out and love them but... You can't for some reason... You're just too.... You :D Underneath that cold exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would probably be anywhere up high where you can look down on life below you, like the roof of an apartment building... Your eyes resemble a saddened, crestfallen person seeking out attention, but doesn't know how to handle it. However, you do find comfort from your friends, they're always there for you, and they know the REAL you :) Even though you do seem rather cold, you can be very protective over something you truely believe in or love. Let go of that "tough" rep and just be you! It's impossible to live life without some fun and love...

What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

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[on alcohol]

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

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[on being twen-teen]

Your label is the Nice Guy. You tend to care for others over yourself. However, many people appreciate your caring side and would rather stick by you than hurt you. But, there is a downside. Some tend to abuse your kindness and take advantage of you. You always try to see the good in everyone and try not to hate. Also, you have sharp insight and a great personality. Calm, serene, and understanding, you make a worthy friend and a valuble ally to people in need. Don't change your sweet nature, your constant being-there can save a life.

I suggest your go into a field that centers around working with others such as a doctor, baby-sitter, psychologist, lifeguard, or Teacher. If none of these occupations interest you, it is okay then. I am sure that there are plenty of oppertunities out there for you.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

haven't learned my lesson

2005-01-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

f*ck! i feel so paranoid right now. i just had my history test this morning. it was ok until the essay part. my answer was for the question of the previous class. yeah yeah. i was stoopid! i know! it made sense to me. until i realized that it did not. maybe a little. shit!!!

it's all because of kramer! argh!! anyway, i still haven't learned from my freshmen experience. hay! i hope it doesn't come in three's. now i have to defend my side. or worse, accept the fact that she'll remember me as a cheater. argh!!! worst, get expelled! (lord! pls no!)

those who haven't cheated even once in their life...approach me! see?!? the only difference is that i was a bit 'careless'. shit! shit! shit!

and it's our presentation on wednesday. hope she has not checked the papers by then. f*ck!

i thought history was fun until this day...

scared~

another boring day

2005-01-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

i woke up early this morning. but not early enough to arrive in school on time for my group meeting. tsk tsk! actually, i was watching amazing race...and rooting for kris and jon! woohoo!

the meeting was over when i arrived. oopsy! and they were talking about summer practicum again. *sigh* i'm still undecided. i lost interest in smart since hiren told me that they do not pay summer interns. booo! adding to that, the work's not that easy -- 10am to 8pm without even a lunch break! hello!?! maybe it could be my last resort...

i got bored in history again. but time flies so fast when habana starts her stories. i studied in the library during my break. fine! i slept instead of reading heidegger. philo was tiring cos the building's too far! jabar na my pits! ewww!

coincidence: maochi gave an example about life and death by using lord of the rings...frodo! haha! no big deal. i know. suddenly, i thought of this blog.

i plan of not going to deveco again tomorrow. i'm such a lazy bum. but i have papers to finish. things more impt than economical ek-ek. and i have to finish my resume and other requirements for the job fair. zzzz... tiring... boring...

yawn~

insomnia mode

2005-01-26T03:55:00.000+08:00

i'm not yet sleepy. i think this is the result of caffeine in my body. i finished reading my history article an hour ago and i just finished making changes here in my blog.

for some reason, i don't feel like blogging anymore. i have nothing to write. despite the fact that my blog's more public now, i can't seem to write about my daily life. maybe i feel awkward that my friends would be viewing my posts by now. as someone once told me, 'blogs are for public viewing!'

it's past 4am now. still have class tomorrow, i mean later.

now i remember. i have a dilemma. i can't find the right company for my summer ojt slash practicum. i really want to work in abs-cbn or in gma. you know why. haha! hopefully i can work in those networks...or smart! or globe! i'm scared of banks. i think numbers will eat me. i feel so uncertain of my future. what if!?!

must sleep~

on hobbits

2005-01-25T16:53:00.000+08:00

i came across this site and i found out which hobbit i am. it seems a little illogical honestly. haha! but you can try it for yourself.

Frodo lives a peaceful life in the Shire until he is unfortunate enough to inherit the ring from his Uncle Bilbo. Frodo is determined to destroy the ring and defeat the Dark Lord. Though the thought of this scares him out of his wits, he still marches forth bravely into Mordor with his faithful friend and servant Sam.

Take the "Which Hobbit are you?" quiz created by Cora Black!

================

and then i saw this hobbit name generator. interesting! and coming from nowhere, my hobbit name is berilac moss of lake-by-downs

try it yourself!

http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/default.asp

out~

one for the road

2005-01-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

i've been itching to post a message here. but i've been finishing (aka cramming) my school requirements. tsk tsk. bad! plus, i was busy looking for a new template in blogskins but i ended up using this template with a few changes...

truth: i don't know most of the html codes...ssshhh!

==========

many things have happened since my last entry (in lj). but my mind doesn't have enough memory to post it all here...

truth: nothing exciting really happened in the past few days of my '05 life...tsktsk!

==========

i'll keep it short for now. i'll try to post again tonight. :)

first time

2004-12-23T08:09:00.000+08:00

nope! not the kind of 'first time' that you're thinking..perv!

this is my first blogspot-post! haha! i've been wanting to transfer here. but my heart's in lj. nah! kidding! i have my reasons (blogspot's too complicating for my weak brain...ssh!).

i think blogspot's way much cooler (haha! redundant!) than ehem but what the heck! a blog's a blog!

just trying my hopefully-soon-to-be-home!

from the not-so-cheesy macaroni to becoming the lost hobbit...

welcome me!

Which Sin Are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You are...	Pride

This QuickKwiz by chibigarm - Taken 256902 Times.

[ rantings of a hobbit ]

na-realize ko lang...

a merry christmas?

nakakainis

one year. two months. twenty one days.

crisis et al

who would have thought.

down memory lane

panis

the worker

will be missing you

ok, so i'm still a bum

pasbrek (ambarok na fastbreak)

torn between two...

the one. the two. the tree.

lss

still a bum

beach to bum

life bits

security my ass and more of jobs

yes it's me

ceasefire

three points

immersed...and the aftermath

long overdue

too shy to make a title

just for fun

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

if that's the case

i'm sorry

quick rants and not-so-quick ones

hudavthot

this night

putting up a smile

pray

pause

pride's my sin! :)

shallow-ness

told you so

i'm an addict *sigh*

the drama that was.is.will be

rising from ashes

sheer bliss

hiatus

no fun!

the hell of reality

ponder

3 days

movies night :)

reality, questions, etch.

sin city

back to normal

just surprised

wasap?!

frickin scared at 315am

count with me

looking back

from the heart

post-less

ek = exhausting kingdom...waaahhyy!

the weekend i longed for

hide and seek

news in bits

thought for the day

on the brighter 'flip'side

learning to live

life and wishes

loving limewire

a long yesterday

disease called boredom

reasons to smile

both sides of the coin

on a pedestal

ish mah burday

almost 5am

i had it coming

checklist

couch patatas

weirdness

title-less

i'm an addict sigh